About Jade
by DxCxS2
Summary: "I don't ask her if she wants to talk about it. Instead I rub her back, and glance over at the clock. It's only 3:00 am, it's not as if I should be sleeping. She won't cry, not yet. Not until she thinks I'm asleep." A story about the ups and downs of Jade
1. Black Hair

**It's what the title says. About Jade. I just found out it's Bade week, Happy Bade week! Please review! It'd mean a lot if you gave me your thoughts! Hopefully the rest will be longer, but this is sort of an opener for the mood of the rest of the story (no she won't be upset all the time). It's just about Jade.**

Jaded. It's what she is. She was in my RV her hair staining my pillows. She had a fight with her dad again. I can't really call it a fight though- their long silent stand offs.

Her dad isn't angry and hands off. He's cool and indifferent, in a manipulative sort of way. He's not a bad father, in the old sense of the word. He's always done more than provide. He's a successful, wealthy man, but he never subscribed to what it meant to be a father now. Attentive, caring, supportive.

But she didn't only come over after fights, she came over just to be here. When her dad was on business trips she'd leave. Her mom was at home, but the house was so big, so lonely, and she didn't like being in there. It was deafening to be alone in such a giant house.

Sometimes she went to Cat's, but not too often. She didn't like upsetting Cat. That and she said she liked sleeping here.

Today it was about her play. He's missed it even though he said he'd be there. However she didn't express herself in words- she expressed herself in actions. She'd dye her hair, and write a play about it. However I know that not because she told me, but because I was at her play, and her dad wasn't there- _again_. I know the rest because I know Jade.

I don't ask her if she wants to talk about it. Instead I rub her back, and glance over at the clock. It's only 3:00 am, it's not as if I should be sleeping. She won't cry, not yet. Not until she thinks I'm asleep.

"It looks nice" I say "The black looks really pretty on you." She doesn't say anything, she doesn't face me. I know she's seething, holding in all of her anger, holding back her tears. I kiss her cheek and turn off the light. I feel weight shift on the bed, and feel her breath. She's rolled over to face me.

"Beck?" she whispers as if to hide herself from the rest of the world "Will you make me coffee in the morning?"

I don't push her tonight, or make her say please. Not when her voice is soft and gentle.

"Of course" I say as I pull her forward and kiss her forehead. As the anger wears off she gets closer and closer to me until she's curled up against me, and her breathing becomes softer and softer as she falls asleep.


	2. Sharing the Secret Game

**Oh another one! I'm so glad it was liked! Just so you know I'm an avid Bade shipper, and I love the Cade friendship. And Cabbie. Anyways I hope you enjoy! Look they're getting longer and longer! (the chapters)**

We're sitting on my bed.

"Tell me a secret" Beck says "That has to do with-" I scan my RV. I spot boots. "boots." Cat looks up at the ceiling while she thinks and Jade smiles. This is Jade's favorite safe legal game.

Cat made it up when they were younger. When they were kids, all the kids liked to play games Jade hated them all. Every single one. So Cat made a game for them to play. It started out as a game, but then became a way for Jade to tell her secrets. And Cat kept playing. And then Jade played it with Beck. It became a game they just kept playing.

"When I was little I was mad at my brother so I took his special peanut butter and put it in his boots" Cat tells us. Jade laughs.

"Special peanut butter…" she smiles. "My turn." She looks around the RV "Cat…"

"Me again…" she whines, but Jade smiles.

"Tell me a secret that has to do with zoos" she asks. Cat bites her lip.

"Sometimes I slip through the bars and play with the wobats" she says in a rush. She releases a breath as if relieved.

"That's a new one" Jade laughs. She leans into me.

"Ok!" Cat says "My turn. Beck tell me a secret about Jade!"

I smile and glance at Jade out of the corner of my eye. She's grimacing, and Cat's giggling. "That's what you get for doing me twice!" Cat sings.

"Okay" I say as a tighten my arm around Jade "I'll tell you a secret that neither of you know." Jade looks up at me.

"How do I not know I secret about myself?" Jade demands.

"It's not your secret" I answer her "It's mine."

"Tell! Tell! Tell!" Cat exclaims. Jade glares at me expectantly.

"So sometimes, when it's really late at night" Jade's eyes widen and I know she doesn't want me to say anything that would be….inappropriate for Cat to hear "and Jade's _asleep"_ her eyes widen even further as if I'm about to saying something horrid. I hold the pause for a moment longer just to tease her. "She'll talk in her sleep."

"I do not!" Jade objects.

"Yes you do!" I argue. Cat's giggling. "You've woken me up before!"

"Really what do I say!" she snaps.

"You don't say anything" I tell her. Cat looks confused.

"How does she not say anything?" Cat asks.

"She says stuff, just not real words" I explain "She spouts a bunch of jibberish. When she first started sleeping here I thought she was possessed by ghosts or something."

Jade smiles. "Ghosts huh?" she says "A little tame."

"Hardly" I say "It was disorienting."

"How come I've never heard her?" Cat asks.

"You sleep like a log" Jade answers "One time I made a mold out of your hand while blaring music and you slept through it all" she says with a twisted smile.

"Demon speak in the middle of the night- be glad you missed it" I say and Cat laughs. Jade punches me in the arm.

"You know who's fluent in jibberish?" Cat asks us. "Robbie!" She gasps "We should call Robbie! He'd like the secrets game!" After knowing Robbie and adding in what Cat said about him I'm not sure I want to know his secrets. Cat's head is one thing, but Robbie's is another. At least I understand Jades.

"No, we can't let him in on the game" Jade argues. She's always had difficulties with sharing. It's funny that Cat is the only girl that I hang around that doesn't make Jade the least bit uncomfortable. It made sense that she didn't want to share the game. It was theirs. It was private.

"But we let Beck in" Cat says softly. It was true, about 6 months after Jade and I started dating I was allowed into the game. "Because he was important to you."

Jade doesn't argue. She'll never admit it, but she has a soft spot for Cat. Even if she yells at Cat sometimes it isn't as if she doesn't feel a pang of guilt afterwards- that being when she's not blinded by rage.

"I think Robbie might be important to me" Cat says quietly, pulling her knees into her chest. Jade pulls away from me and lets out a heavy sigh.

"How about next time we invite Robbie?" she says. It's not everything, but it's baby steps. Cat's face lights up immediately.

"Yay!" she exclaims. "Oh and Robbie says your hair is pretty!"

"When did he say that?" Jade demands. "How did he see it?"

"I texted him a picture see!" she turns her phone to Jade, revealing a picture she had taken and sent. Jade becomes angry and they go through their song and dance. I'm used to it. When it gets really late Jade offers to drive Cat home. It is Sunday after all. When we drive back to my RV I know she's staying the night again.

"It was nice of you earlier, saying Robbie could come next time" I tell her.

"Yeah and I'm regretting it already" she says. I smile. Jade.


	3. When It Rains

**Yes! Another chapter! Since it's Bade week I'm going to try and write one chapter every night. I can't promise anything though- School is busy. Thanks I hope you like it and please review! I'm loving all of these reviews and favorites!**

Jade hates clicking pens, skirts over jeans, pears, salantro, the word tissue, chicken nuggets, Dr. Pepper commercials, snot, nine, grass stains, birthday parties, energy drinks, bibs, bows, aloe vera, fancy doorbells and green soup.

Jade loves swimming in the rain. She loves the rain, but she loves swimming in it even more. It's one of the few times she likes being at home.

"It's raining" she says darkly into the phone. I look out my window.

"Yes it is" I answer, curious as to why she sounds angry, but I know I'm about to find out why.

"Cat's not here" she says "She's playing pirates with Robbie."

"Are you playing pirates?" I ask, just to tease her.

"Of course I'm not playing pirates. It's _raining._"

"But if it wasn't you'd be playing pirates" I chuckle into the phone as I slip on my boots.

"I'd never play pirates. I'd rather be bathed in dog saliva" she says.

"Graphic" I reply "I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Good" she says "I bought boba."

"I'll be there soon" I tell her as I hang up.

I drive my truck over to her house. It's in Beverly Hills so it's not too far of a drive from West Hollywood. When I get there I park in the parkingway. There's enough room for four cars even though there are only two. I smirk. Only two, as if three cars is a trivial feat. I'm pretty sure Jade's mom crashed hers – _again._ The funny thing about Jade is that she's pretty quiet about her family's money. You wouldn't know unless you went to her house. One time someone found out her dad had been laid off, and they were worried, but I wasn't. The only reason he was laid off was because Jade's grandfather was a bit mad at him. Give it a week and he'll be rehired all over again, with a bigger paycheck.

But Jade doesn't like to tell people that. It makes her nervous. The first time I found out that Jade's family was well off was the second time it rained when we were dating. She called me in the middle of the winter and asked me if I wanted to go swimming. Cat was away for the break.

"It's raining"I told her, a bit confused.

"I know" she answered me. "I'll come pick you up" and then she hung up the phone. About 30 minutes later she was at my house.

"Did you hit traffic?" I asked, because with out traffic it should have only been twenty.

"Nope" she said as I got in "I picked up boba. You like taro right?"

"Taro's great" I said. Everything was normal until we pulled up. Her house was huge.

"You live here?" I asked. I must have sounded pretty stupid.

"Yeah" she mumbled taking my hand and leading me up the stairs and inside. She led me up to her room, and put her boba down on her bedside table.

"Did you bring your bathing suit?" she asked as she pulled off her shirt, her bedroom door wide open. I felt a little relieved when I saw she was wearing her bathing suit underneath her clothing.

"Should I go-" I started, but she interupted me.

"It doesn't matter" she said "It's not like anybody's home." I felt a little bit uncomfortable, but I changed right there. She didn't really look, and I wasn't facing her. "Nice tush" she laughed. It wasn't a mocking laughter, just laughter.

"A bit of an understatement" I responded.

"Oh look who's quick" she answered.

After I changed we headed down the stairs. Once we were at her pool she set her boba on the ground and just dove right in. I thought it must have been heated, so I jumped in right after, in the pouring rain. It wasn't.

"I ask them not to heat it" she said "I like the sting." She dunked her ehad underneath the water and popped back up. "A rush."

"A rush huh?" I answered as I dunked her underneath the water. She popped up with a gasp.

"You!" she came back after me. We swam for a few hours before we crawled into her jacuzzi.

"So," I started "Swimming in the rain, is better than swimming in the dark, which is better than swimming at night, which is better than swimming in the day, which is better than swimming in milk."

"You got it" she said "I hate milk."

"But you love jacuzzis?" I asked. She nodded.

"I like to pretend witches are preparing me for a human stew" she explain, taking a sip of her boba. "Do you know what else I love?"

"What?" I asked. She pulled her straw out of her boba.

"This" she yanked her straw out of her drink and shot one of the tapioca balls at me. Then she laughed.

"Really?" I said. "Let me try" I pulled out my straw and shot a boba at her.

"Oh you don't know who you're messing with" she retorted as she shot more boba at me.

I don't go in her house this time. It's not like the first time, I know where to go. I navigate around the house and to the pool behind the back gate. And there she is, standing in the rain, in her bathing suit, sipping her ice coffee boba. She turns around and sees me. I know she's been waiting. She puts down her boba and dives into the pool. I'm already soaking wet from standing in the rain, and a little bit cold. But it's a rush, and I jump in after her.


	4. It Pours

**So not every chapter will include Cat and Robbie, or the secret game. I know I've already got two. Also not all the chapters will happen so tightly together, there will be bigger gaps of time (for the characters) in the chapters….I've just needed to get this off my chest (or clear it up in my head) since the first episode of Victorious. It's tainted Bade for me until now . Nothing I write will conflict with the canon, so if you've got Bade issues, just put'm in a review, and maybe I'll try to straighten it out. Enjoy!**

When the rain stops we head back inside. It's empty. Her brother is at his friend's house, her dad is away, and her mom is…where ever she is. Maybe she didn't crash her car. Maybe she's just out. We're about to go take a shower when Jade's phone rings.

"What?" she says into the phone. "I don't know Cat, maybe it will start raining again. Do I look like a weather woman?" She pauses "What do you mean you're about to crash? Who's the other voice? Hello?" Jade pulls away from the phone. "Really? She can't even explain what's going on properly?"

"What is going on?" I say as we walk up to her bathroom. She throws her phone onto her bed. She sighs.

"I'm regretting" Jade said as she sat on her sink. I give her a look that asks her to please fill in the details.

"I think Cat and Robbie are on their way here" she says.

"How?" I ask "Neither of them have a car."

"I think" she says, emphasizing the think, "That they're on his bike." I chuckle.

"They're biking all the way here?" She nods in reply. "When are they getting here? Should we really be taking a shower?"

"I don't like chlorine" she answers "Besides" she smiles as she slips out of her bathing suit.

About twenty minutes later it starts raining again. And about forty minutes later there's a knock at the door. Robbie and Cat are standing in the door soaking wet. Something is smudged on Robbie's face. I think it was a pirate beard at one point, but I don't want to ask.

"We brought our bathing suits" Cat says in shivers. I reach out and put my hand on Cat's forehead.

"You're freezing" I say.

"Am I?" Cat asks.

"I want to light the fire" Jade says. I know she'd rather go back out in the pool, but she knows that wouldn't be the best thing for Cat right now. So we sit by Jade's fire, wrapped in blankets. Jade's sitting between my legs and my arms around her waist. We're making smores. Well, Cat and Robbie are making smores. Smores are a bit sweet for me. Jade is lighting the marshmallows on fire. She likes it when they burn.

It's quiet. We aren't used to having Robbie here. Robbie is being Robbie. I'm resting my head against Jade's hair. She smells really nice. I think he's burning his mouth. Jade and Cat are conversing with their eyes. Cat's nodding. I can feel Jade sigh.

"Secret game" Cat sings.

"What's the secret game?" Robbie asks. I rub Jade's arm. She's trying to share, and I know it'll be difficult.

"Okay, so Jade and I made a game" Cat explains "Where we ask each other to tell secrets, but they have to be about something!"

"Aren't all secrets about something?" Robbie asks.

"Yes, but" Cat pauses "I mean"

"Robbie" Jade snaps. "Tell me a secret that has to do with chocolate."

He answers faster than I expect "When I was little I accidentally thought some poo was chocolate and"

"Ew!" Jade and Cat shout. I laugh.

"You ate your poo?"

"Tasted it!" Robbie argues, but no one listens. We just laugh. We go through a few rounds, making smores and burning marshmallows. Jade's getting tired, she's resting against me more and more as we go on and it gets later and later. I think she's asleep when Robbie wakes her up on his turn.

"Tell me a secret that has to do with kissing" Robbie asks. I look down. Her eyes are barely open. Jade thinks for a minute, and I can feel her weight lift off me a bit.

"I'm still mad that Tori kissed Beck" she says, her voice hard. We all fall silent. She chuckles to herself unhappily. "And everyone pretends like it never happened. Go ahead, keep playing the game, it's not like anything's changed."

She's pulled mostly away from me, and she yawns. We play a few more rounds, until Cat and Robbie are both asleep. I help Jade carry Cat onto a couch. We leave Robbie on the floor. I follow her up to her room. She climbs into her bed without looking at me. I wonder what triggered it. I wonder why we really never talked about it. She's lying with her back facing me. The lights are still on. She doesn't ask me but I flick them off.

I crawl into bed next to her, and pull myself close to her. Her back is pressed against me. "Tell me a secret" I whisper in the dark "about how I can fix it."

"We were in such a bad place then, we were angry, and then, you let her use you against me" she whispers "And it's like everything fell down hill, like I couldn't trust you. You, one of the _only _people I trusted."

"Jade" I say "We were acting."

"And you can't say a small part of you was acting to hurt me?" she says into the dark.

"I never want to hurt you" I say "ever."

"Did you ever like Tori?" she asks.

"Never" I say. "I've kissed other girls before when acting. I kissed Cat before."

"Cat knows we're us. She calls us mom and dad, and past that" Jade pauses "I can trust her."

"Why does Tori's bother you the most?"

"Because I can't trust her" she answers.

"You know you can always trust me." I say "But why can't you trust her?"

"She's made it impossible to. Even if I was trying to get back at someone I'd never try to scam their boyfriend. That's just wrong. And then what she did to Cat, when she sprayed her with hot cheese and kissed her boyfriend. I don't know. It's like she can't see out of her own frame of reference."

"How often do you think about it?" I wrap my arms around her. She places her hands over mine.

"I don't know, sometimes it'll just pop up…and I didn't want to bring it up because" her voice shakes but she takes control of it "Because we were doing so well."

"Part of that well" I say "is communicating. The good and the bad." We're silent for a moment.

"I always want you tell me when you're upset, I want you to always come to me when you need to. Jade I'm so sorry I did that to you. I'm sorry I didn't pay enough attention. Jade I love you, and I never ever want to hurt you." She rolls over to face me, and I see her face, the hurt, the happy, the love. It's all there. It's so strange to be having his conversation with the lights on, but the rain is rhythmic, soothing.

"Even the little things?" she says, confidence in her voice. I smile.

"Even the little things."

"I'm upset that Robbie is passed out on my floor downstairs" she tells me,

"I'm not sure that's a little thing" I reply "But I can fix it." She smiles back.

"Later" she says as she leans in and kisses me. I kiss her back. She runs her hand through my hair, and I run mine down her soft bare back. She rolls over and kisses me harder, and pretty soon, we're lost in each other.

When we're done she's sleeping on my chest. She seems peaceful, and I let out a deep breath. I've been stupid. We've been stupid, but it's been a good stupid, a stupid that leads us to a better us. I'm starting to fall asleep when Jade starts mumbling. Demon speak. I chuckle to myself and run my hand through her hair. She pulls in closer to me, and I fall asleep to her jibberish.

**I hope you liked it! Please review!**


	5. Midnight Write

**So I'll be trying my best to subscribe to a linear model of time. Now I won't address all of your episode desires just yet, but they'll eventually be explained. This one is for Beck Falls for Tori! Oh and by the way, everything occurs after Jade dyes her hair black- there will be flashbacks though (related and not related episodes) Enjoy!**

Jade's sitting in my trailer, doing her school work when I enter. She came over before I got here. I told her I was going to pick up coffee first. I was all out, and I knew she'd want some in the morning. Her mom and dad were looking for boarding schools for her brother during the week, which left Jade's house almost completely empty.

I was pretty tired when I opened the door. After dressing up as a girl, falling for Tori, and picking up coffee I was a bit tired.

"I knew it was you" she says "Cat just confirmed it."

"How'd you know it was me?" I ask. I hadn't told Jade before hand. I was somewhat worried something awful would happen.

"I've seen the back of your legs before" she explains "and I've seen the back of Tori's." She pauses "They aren't as toned." The final comment lets me know she's not fuming.

Curiosity grips me. "Why didn't you say anything?" I ask.

She shrugs, flipping the page of her book. "I didn't want anyone else to know you were falling for Tori" she cringes as she says it "That sounded different than it was."

I smile and put away the coffee "I'm glad you know it was different than it sounded" I say "But I still don't know why you didn't tell everyone."

"I got to push her didn't I?" she replies. "It still doesn't make any sense why she's acting. I mean she wants to be a _pop star_. You, you're the one who wants to act. Wouldn't that look great on your resume?"

"She doesn't know what she wants" I say "She doesn't know herself like you do."

"I still think you should have told the director" Jade answers, her eyes dropping down to her book.

"Why didn't you?" I ask. I'm curious. Normally when Jade wants something she takes it. It's one of the things I love about her. So I know that something, there was something that kept her from telling the director. Something.

"Because" she snaps.

"Oh come on, you have a reason for everything. You don't like green soup _because_ it looks like snot. You didn't tell the director it was me _because_" I wait for her to fill the blank.

"Because I didn't" she grumbles. "Is that answer enough for you?"

"Is it because" I say getting up and walking around behind her. I put my hands on her shoulders "Tori is maybe your friend now?"

"What?" Jade shoots back. "Tori's not my friend."

"I'm not sure, I mean you guys have acted like friends" I say as I squeeze her shoulders. She looks up at me.

"How so?"

"She helped us out," I say, something I'm still grateful for "She helped you get your dad to see your play. One of the only ones he's come to. She helped you and Cat with the karaoke girls. She's trying." Jade doesn't answer me. "Maybe she's not a friend, kind of a friend?" I say in an attempt to amend my statement.

"She's not kind of a friend" Jade retorts. I don't say anything for a moment, but Jade takes in a deep breath. "She's something like a friend. But she's not a friend. She's not kind of a friend" she says harshly.

"Something like a friend" I repeat.

"Yup" she says and I smile. It's a big deal. It's not that I want to force Jade to be Tori's friend, and not that I care if Tori wants Jade to be her friend, it's good for her to let in new people. Even if it's not all the way. Even if it's baby steps. I kiss her cheek softly.

"Something like a friend" I repeat again, my face next to hers. She runs her hand through my hair.

I wake up to typing. It's late, and when I roll over and expect to see Jade, I instead see a large lump. I reach out to touch it and I realize it's her leg. I pull myself up in bed a bit and rest my head against Jade's arm. It's dark except for the light from her computer screen. It's blinding.

She's writing. I glance down at the time on the bottom corner of her laptop. It's two in the morning.

When Jade has a story idea, she becomes possessed by it. When inspiration hits her she has to put it down there, to get it out of her system. It's like she can't move on unless she knows her idea is down somewhere.

"What're you working on?" I yawn. She's typing furiously. Then she erases a sentence and rewords it. Her lips curl into a smile.

"A one man play" she answers before the rampant clicking starts up again. My eyes are falling and I nuzzle against her arm.

"About?" I ask.

"A clown who's parachute doesn't open" she says, pausing to look over her work.

"Too bad he's not made out of rubber" I reply. She laughs quietly.

"Yeah" she says "clowns don't bounce."

"That they don't." I agree, my eyes fluttering. "You know we have classes tomorrow" I tell her. She keeps typing. "It means you'll need to get _some_ sleep." Her fingers move faster. "How much longer do you think you'll be working on it?"

"Not much longer" she says "You can go ahead and go back to sleep. I'll sleep eventually." I shrug accepting her invitation to go back to sleep. I know for a fact that I need more sleep than Jade.

"Night" I say kissing the side of her arm and returning to the warmth of the blankets to fall asleep.

When I wake up Jade's sleeping bent in half. It's morning now. I know she didn't listen to me because she's sleeping on her keyboard, her arms wrapped around her laptop. I slip out her laptop from underneath her to put away. I save her document and my eyes fall on _another gallon of blood is shot into the air and splatters on the audience._ I chuckle to myself as I shut her computer. I get up to make her coffee, I know she'll be more tired than usual this morning. Who knows how late she stayed up writing and editing. And how knows how many more hours of sleep she'll miss perfecting it. Jade works hard when she cares about something.

I finished the coffee and bring the mug to the bed. I shove her side a bit to wake her up. She's drowsy at first, but her eyes widen with fear.

"Saved it and put your laptop away" I tell her. She sighs and her eyelids droop once again. I hand her the mug and she takes it with both hands around the cup. She looks up at me and knows I'm waiting.

"Thank you" she says. I smirk and kiss her softly. She's still drowsy after all, and she'll be tired for most of the day. Not to mention if we waste any more time we'll be late for school, so I know if we kiss anymore we could end up having sex. And then we'd be _really_ late.

"Don't mention it" I tease.

**Now I don't ship Jori, or the Jori friendship. I'm okay with it, but I'm not hardcore JORI JORI JORI. To paraphrase a comment "The jori friendship is okay with me depending on the day" If anyone noticed there was a bit of foreshadowing! Oh and to the person who doesn't like boba- It's amazing. I love boba it's really popular here. OH AND SOMEONE SAID THAY THEY WERE GOING TO START PLAYING THE SECRET GAME PLEASE DO SO :D And lastly the stuff I write about los angeles, placement stores etc (boba is pretty popular here at the moment) is true sooooo yeaaaah. **

**SORRY FOR THE REALLY LONG NOTE THANKS FOR EVERYTHING I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE LIKES IT :D**


	6. Sleepless Nights

I haven't seen Jade since yesterday. I'm a bit worried because for the past few nights she hasn't slept in my RV and for the past few days she has been running on coffee, which has made her slightly irritable. Which is a safety hazard.

"Have you seen Jade at all today?" I ask Andre when I see him in Sikowitz's class.

"Um, yeah" he says "This morning she hurled a hot cup of coffee at Robbie."

"Is that all?" I ask. It seems tame for a sleepless Jade.

"Is that all!" I hear from behind me. Robbie enters the classroom. "What do you mean is that all?" he demands "It was burning hot coffee. It got all over me!" he gestures to his…once white shirt. "And it scalded me!"

I shake my head. "It's not as bad as it could have been" I reply. Andre smirks. "Just imagine if that coffee was a rock."

"Yeah you lived that one" Andre laughs.

"Indeed I did."

Almost everyone's in class, when Jade walks in. Her eyelids are drooping, but she has a smirk on her face as she sits down next to me. She rests her head on my shoulder and her eyes shut.

"I did it" she states simply.

"Did what?" I ask, putting my arm around her as she falls asleep.

"Not now" she yawns "Too many people I hate."

"Tonight?" I ask quietly.

"Look who missed me" she says with a smile, her eyes are still closed.

"You missed me too" I answer. I can feel her shaking her head slightly on my shoulder. "Sure" I reply as I feel her breathing slowing, and soon she's asleep. After a few minutes Sikowitz enters the room.

"Sorry I'm late" he says "I had some paper work to fill out and dates to set."

"Dates?" Tori asks.

"Dates?" Sikowitz responds "Why would I write them on dates?"

"You wouldn't?" she says, lost now.

"That's right. You use a banana peel!" he answers with a snap. "Now Cat, Andre come up here. You are a divorced couple fighting over a who gets to keep the family chinchilla. And go!"

On the way back to my RV Jade falls asleep in my truck. She left her car at school. She does that a lot when she comes over. The school just locks it up in the parking lot with any other left over cars. My truck doesn't drive very smoothly and her head is bouncing around, but she's still fast asleep. I wonder how many hours she was up last night.

The first time I met Jade she was mid project. It was before we started at Hollywood Arts. I was taking an acting class with Cat, and she said her friend was working on a film and she wanted to know if I was interested. Now I had done films for other girls before, but they were all the same. Boy meets girl, and such. So I asked Cat what the film was called.

"_The Ubiquitous" _she told me.

A week later I was sitting at a restaurant with Cat. She said Jade was her friend so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Another bubbly, happy girl? Jade was playing with her fork when another girl came and sat across from us. She was nothing like I expected.

The first thing I noticed were her eyes. Not her eyebrow piercing, or long brown hair, or the fact that she was dress completely, head to toe, in black. No her eyes grabbed me. They were a an icy blue. Cold and beautiful.

"Hi Jade!" Cat said with a smile as she put down her fork. Jade didn't say hi back. Instead she sat there, staring at me.

"This is him?" she asked Cat. Cat nodded.

"Yup! This is Beck!" she turned to me "and Beck this is Jade!"

"Jade it's nice to meet you" I started "Cat told me about your-"

"Would you be okay with me pouring a few gallons of fake blood on you?" she interjected. Cat giggled.

"Fake blood? For the movie?" I thought for a second "I guess I wouldn't have a problem with it." It wasn't a question I was used to answering. For movies made by 13 or 14 year olds, the questions were normally 'how do you feel about long kissing' and 'do you have a girlfriend'.

"What about real blood?" she asked.

"Um" I paused "Who's blood is it?"

She smirked. "For the time being not yours." I shrugged.

"It would definitely be something new" I answered. She nodded.

Cat turned to me, a smile on her face "The last guy cried" she giggled.

"You won't cry, will you?" Jade asked.

"Only if you want me to" I replied.

"Well" she started "Aren't you a smart one."

As we spoke she jotted quick notes onto a piece of paper. After we finished eating, it was decided I'd be John Fletcher in her movie. Of course she said 'if I could handle the part'. It was strange, having someone challenge me. And I liked it. Before she left Jade gave me the script to read. That night I laid on my bed and read it. It wasn't anything anyone had asked me to do before.

John Fletcher and Caroline Fletcher, young newly weds, run off together. Everything changes when they think their new home is haunted and they move, but every time they move it's as if they are still haunted. They're plagued by nightmares, disturbing images, and a child's voice. Caroline begins to panic, and John becomes paranoid. In the end after all the turmoil and confusion John and Caroline, in hopes of escaping the haunting kill each other with spoons, each believing that the other has brought the haunting upon them, and they lying on other another, spooned, in their own blood.

Jade had put her number on top of the script, so I called her.

"So you're calling to quit?" she demanded.

"No," I said "I'm just curious, when I throw up blood, should it be more of a spew, or a cough spit?"

When we pull up to my house Jade is still asleep. I wake her up, and she mumbles in protest. I nudge her a couple times and her eyes open just slightly. In my RV I make her coffee.

"So," I ask when she's sipped her coffee "What happened today?"

"Sikowitz booked my play" she says with a small yawn.

"What did you end up calling it."

She smirks now "Clowns don't bounce."

"Remember the first movie you made with me?" I say later that night as we're getting into bed. "_The Ubiquitous_?_" _

She gags. "Don't remind me" she groans "It was awful."

"No it wasn't" I argue "It was cute."

"Which was exactly the problem. It was so _tame_" she complains, but I smile at her.

"Artists can never properly appreciate their own work" I tell her.

"Yeah, and sick people can never properly appreciate their own vomit."

"That's entirely unrelated" I point out. She pulls in close to me, her face inches away from mine.

"Do you want to know what else is completely unrelated?" she replies.

"What?" I ask, but I already know as my arms wrap around her.

"We haven't done _anything _lately" she says.

"Well we can fix that" I retort as I lean in and kiss her. It's soft at first, but it grows into something more passionate, and then we're moving together, rolling underneath the covers, my hands outlining her body, her lips pressed against mine.


	7. A String Around Her Finger

**Eventually I'll get to the Worst Couple…. But not tonight. Gotta go in order. But wasn't that heartbreaking? For a second I thought he wouldn't make it because Trina jumped on him. And then he made it out, and then I realized he wouldn't have second guessed everything if Trina never jumped on him. He would have gone to the door. HE WOULD HAVE BGUISDBHUOSB TRINA! (even though I did poop myself laughing (not really but I was laughing a lot this episode- I'm so torn- Tragic and funny?)) **

Jade's mom has two sisters. Her mom had married the wealthiest. And her Aunt Emma had also married into old money. Her other Aunt, Rebecca, is getting married into new money this weekend.

Jade didn't want to go. She came marching into my RV a few nights before. I figured it was another fight with her father about her future. I knew what he wanted for her- a traditional education. She was scribbling in her notebook for a while when she looked up at me.

"What are you doing Saturday night?" she demanded. I heard the paper tearing underneath her pen. She didn't look up.

"What're you thinking about?" I asked.

"I need you to come with me to a wedding."

"A wedding?" I asked. "A wedding? Who's wedding?"

"My aunts" she answered.

"A wedding" I hummed "Sounds kind of fun."

"Yeah" Jade mumbled "I love when my mom gets a chance to dress me up like a doll."

"Why are you going?"

"She threatened to take away my car" Jade growled. That's what her parents did when they really wanted her to do things. They'd threaten to take her car. If they did, she wouldn't be able to be here as often. Jade loved her car, because it was her escape. She could go anywhere. If they took away her car, it'd be like clipping a bird wings, leaving them caged in a cruel flightless state.

"I'll break out my suit and tie."

I can't help but smile when I see Jade come out of her room. She's wearing what her mother picked out for her, a soft light blue grey dress. It's so gentle, so feminine. She looks beautiful. Not that she normally doesn't, just right now, it's so rare that I get to see her really dressed up.

"My mom" she answers begrudgingly.

"You still look very nice" I respond, putting my arm around her.

We're heading downstairs to meet up with her parents and her brother when she wraps her arm tightly around me. It's not possessive, it's scared. It's a touch I don't feel often, but I recognize it. So I wrap my arm back around her. We all climb into their car, and we're off the to the church. It's a beautiful old gothic church normally. It has deep dark stain glass windows, long hanging chandeliers, soft wooden pews. Today there are gaudy red flowers pressed onto all of the pews, and lights, along with pink lace, and long shiny ribbons intertwined with pearls.

"Fun so far right?" she says to me, her words dripping with sarcasm.

"Interesting" I say "I'll give it that." She smirks at my disapproval. We sit on the bride's side of the church with her family. Jade and I are at the end of the pew, and she plucks one of the gaudy flowers from a bouquet on a pew and starts to tear of the petals one at a time. Her father glances at her, but readily ignores her. Next her mother glances over, and glares.

"Jade" she hisses "That isn't ladylike."

"Whatever" Jade answers peeling away another petal. Her mother rolls her eyes and looks away, before smiling at another family. I rest my hand on Jades knee, and squeeze it reassuringly. I feel a tension filled breath escape her and she rests her head on my shoulder as she rips up the red flower.

The ceremony isn't long. It's an abridged mass. As if they wanted to get married in the church, but they really didn't care about the rest of it. Not long after it starts her aunt walks down the aisle in a white dress, covered in rhinestones, with her new husband.

After the 'church ceremony' we all head down to the country club for the reception. It's not far from the church, they are both in the Hancock Park Area. We drive past Cat's house on the way. The Country Club is decorated like the church, and I put my hand over Jade's. She holds mine and squeezes it back.

There are speeches, we eat, and then the bride and groom dance. Soon the dance floor is open. I'm about to ask Jade if she wants to dance when her mom sweeps in.

"Jade!" she calls, dragging a tall red headed boy behind her. He's our age, but a bit shorter than me. "Have you met Duncan Petherford yet? He's your aunt's, new husband's, brother's, sister's nephew!"

"No" she growls.

"Oh!" Mrs. West exclaims "He's a delight! Oh come here for a second."

"Is he now?" Jade answers "Then I wouldn't want to steal him away from you" She mocks her mother's speech. Mrs. West glares at her.

_You're car_ she mouths. Jade turns to meet, upset and angry, but I nod and she gets up and follows her mother. In a few moments she's on the dance floor with Duncan. As soon as her mother turns away I see she's about to rip the flesh off the back of his neck so I move quickly to the dance floor.

"May I cut in?" I ask, some what mockingly, and Duncan steps back more than obligingly. I think he saw the violent anger in Jade's eyes. It dies as I hold her and we sway. "Sorry about that" I say "I didn't want to jeopardize you getting your car back."

"Thanks" she replies as she pulls herself closer and rests her head on my shoulder. I rest my head on top of hers, my arms wrapped around her, and he song changes. We move in slow circles on the dance floor, swaying gently.

_You taste so bitter and so sweet. Oh I could drink a case of you darling, and I would still be on my feet. Oh I would still be on my feet._

And like that, for a moment, just a single moment, everything is perfect. It's something you want to jump in and live forever, to grasp and carry with you. It's a moment when you know everything is right.

We are heading back to the car, when Jade says she needs to use the restroom. She asks me to meet her at the car, so I walk with her brother and father to her car. We wait there for a while, but after ten minutes I feel a bit worried, so I say that I need to use the bathroom. Mr. West nods in reply and I get out of the car and head for the women's bathroom. I'm going to knock when I hear voices.

"I don't need a diamond ring mom!" I hear Jade's voice shout "I don't care if he ties a string around my finger!"

"You are insufferable! I try to give you everything, I make the path now why won't you walk down it!"

"Because that's not what I want! I don't want you stupid path!"

"Everything turned out perfect for me!"

"Well maybe I don't want to be you."

I want to go in and help Jade, but I don't. It would only make things worse. Me standing here could make things worse. So I rush back to her car and wait for her. About five minutes later Jade and her mother renter the car. Jade's make up is a bit smudged. I wrap my hand around hers, and her fingers intertwine with mine.

That night I pretend to leave, just to make things easier for her. To get her mother off her back. When it's late I climb up the back of the house and into her window.

**I hope you liked it! Please review! THANKS!...Oh sadness…**


	8. I Scream For Jade

**I'm baaack! I can't say this chapter was my best, but… I think I like it. I've been getting a LOT of story alerts and favorites and such so thank you everyone SO MUCH! It would be fantastic if you would review my stories so I can see how things are being taken! I KNOW VAGUE**

**ANYWAYS- THANK YOU SO MUCH PLEASE ENJOY AND REVIEW**

"So all the Ice cream digging did end up being worth it" I tease as Jade and I leave Tori's house. Our hands our interlaced as Cat skips in front of us humming softly. Robbie walks next to her. "Where are we going after we drop them off?"

"Well" Jade says "Robbie and Cat live closer to you, so your place would be easier than mine. Unless you had something different in mind" She leans onto my shoulder, and then pulls away, her hand still holding mine. She's smiling.

"I thought we could do something fun, you know, before I head to Canada for the next few weeks" I say. She groans and I rub the back of her hand with my thumb.

"Don't remind me" she mumbles, grimacing.

"A few weeks will be nothing" I answer "I promise."

"Sure" Jade retorts "I really look forward to sleeping at my house."

"You could invite Cat over" I suggest "Or sleep at her house."

"It's harder now that her and Robbie spend so much time together" Jade explains glancing forward at the two. I figure it won't be long before they do get together. "I mean I can only tolerate Robbie for her for _so_ long."

"Well you're getting pretty good at it" I reply.

"Yeah well. Cat likes him" A small smile grows on her lips. She's happy for Cat because she thinks that even though he's Robbie, he'll make her happy.

When we're in the car, Cat asks Jade a question "Why don't you like ice cream? Your mom used to give it to us all the time." Jade glares at the road.

"Remember how we'd get ice cream in cones at Baskin Robins?" Jade asks "Remember how it was right before ballet? My mom used to tell me not to eat too much because for you, if you ate it, you'd keep your figure, but for me, I'd get fat and then no one would like me."

"I'd still like you" Cat says softly.

"I didn't know that when I was five. It was why I stopped eating ice cream" Jade answers. "I was never really lactose intolerant. I just didn't want you to stop because I had."

"So you let me go and get beaten because ice cream makes you unhappy!" Robbie snaps. Jade smirks.

"No I let you go get beaten because you are_ you_. There's no connection with ice cream. I don't even hate ice cream, just…" she pauses, but she catches herself "But I am glad you took it to the park." Her smile returns. Robbie groans. "Want to get dropped off here?"

"No…" Robbie sighs and we continue driving.

We drop of Robbie at his house and then Cat at hers. When Cat walks inside I get out of the car.

"What're you doing?" Jade demands.

"We're switching places" I say.

"No we're not!" she snaps. I lean into the car so I can see her.

"Jade please" I say with a smile. She sighs and unbuckles. I smirk and walk around the side of the car. I get into the driver's seat, and she gets into the passenger's seat. I start the car.

"So where are we going?" she asks. I don't answer her, I just smirk because I only thought of it a half hour ago. I drive down third to the Grove, an outdoor mall. I know most of the stores in the Farmer's Market, an assortment of shops inside of the Grove, are open. I drive up to the very top of the parking lot because Jade likes to be up high. She likes the sky at night. We get out of the car and take the elevator seven stories down. "You still haven't told me anything. You could be kidnapping me for all I know."

"You're going to like it" I tell her. I hope she will. She could end up hating it. But we walk through the people anyways, our hands linked. I lead her into the Farmer's Market and we walk underneath the shallow ceilings, and shades until we reach the ice cream shop.

"What're you doing?" she demands. We're up at the cashier who glances worriedly at Jade.

"Could I get a single scoop of chocolate" I ask him "And…" I turn to Jade.

"What?" she snaps.

"What do you want?" I ask as I pull out my wallet.

"I don't want anything" she argues.

"What flavor do you like?" I ask. It's a make it or break it moment. If she wants one she'll say what she likes, and if she says none then… this was a bad idea.

"Mint chip, but-" she says, and I smirk.

"And a single scoop of mint chip" I add. I hand him the money and he gets a second ice cream. "Thanks" I say as we leave and I hand the ice cream cone to Jade.

"I don't eat ice cream!" she argues, but I push the cone into her hand and then hold her other hand. I lick my ice cream. "I don't eat ice cream!"

"But you like it" I say as we leave the farmers market and head back to the parking structure. She glares at the ice cream.

"Well how should I know!" she snaps "I haven't eaten ice cream since…" she stops. "It's dripping."

"Ice cream does that" I say.

"Beck it's dripping on my hand" her words spoken quickly, her expression panicked.

"Lick it" I say. She's glaring at me, and at the cone, and she's thinking, and then she takes the cone up to her mouth and she licks it.

"I don't eat ice cream" she says and she pulls it away from herself. She's glancing at it, but trying not to now and I smile. She lick is again. And again. And soon she's eating it.

"You don't eat ice cream huh?" I say when we're in the elevator.

"I didn't" she says. "I just forgot how good it was." I lick my own. She sighs. "Now I'll have to watch how much I eat"

"Don't." I say. She glances at me. We're at the top of the parking structure.

"If you're a chub" I say "I'm a chub."

"Did you just paraphrase the Notebook?" she demands. I laugh.

"What're you going to do about it if I did?" I answer, and she glares at me playfully.

I lean over the side of the parking structure "If you're a chub I'm a chub!" I shout over the city. I feel a hand pull me back onto the ground.

"Don't do that!" she gasps. I smirk because I think I've embarrassed her. "You could have fallen!" She looks especially angry now.

"I'm sorry" I say biting down on my cone. I'm almost done with my ice cream. I lean forward and lick hers. Her hand pushes away my face.

"Hey my ice cream" she says. I smile and put my arms around her.

"Fine" I say kissing her on the lips. "Your ice cream."

**TIME FOR A LONGISH NOTE**

**So last time I didn't say where the song was from! It's a real song called 'A Case of you' covered by James Blake. I listened to it after the Worst Couple and I was like "THIS SONG IS PERFECT FOR THEM".**

**Go listen to it! I'm cereal! Hahahhaaha I hope you liked this chapter!**

**Oh and I feel like there's something else I should establish-**

**I don't understand PM. In fact I'm just kind of starting to understand how to work fanfiction. Goodness. SORRY FRIENDS**


	9. Cat's comment

**So this is short, but this is kinda like a two parter- but not really. I don't know how to explain because- I'm so tired- and I hate everything- No I don't that's a lie- School is just hard. I hope you enjoy!**

Jade's driving me to the airport. My grandma is meeting me on the other side. She's a bit on edge, I'm leaving and it hasn't been the best week.

"Maybe" Cat says from the back seat. She pulls her face up next to mine and turns to Jade. "If you were nicer to the people who cast the part you want, like Tori you could get the part."

"Why would I be nice to Sikowitz?" Jade demands. I edged towards her. It's not good to be upset and drive at the same time.

"To help you get the part" Cat replies.

"Me getting the part" Jade snaps "Or not getting the part should not depend on me being nice." Cat's one of the few people who will purposefully address topics that upset Jade.

"But it does" she says.

"Oh!" Jade exclaims. Cat gets nervous, but she doesn't back down.

"I just don't want you to think you didn't get the part because you weren't good. Because I thought you were really good" Cat says. Jade doesn't say anything. I know it's a tender area for her. Cat's going to continue but I know Jade needs to digest or she'll snap.

"Want some gum?" I ask Cat waving a piece in front of her.

"I love gum!" she exclaims grabbing to from me. "Thank you!" She smiles unwrapping it and popping the gum in her mouth. "It's shiny" she says to herself.

I glance over at Jade. She's not talking right now. She looks really angry, but I know she's just upset and she's thinking. She needs a minute.

While Jade and her dad don't get along, the very similar. Jade's Dad is very avid about his way of life, pursuing a career with a set pay check, and guaranteed jobs. He's made up his mind, and it's very unlikely he'll change it. He cares a lot. And Jade cares a lot about who she is. She doesn't believe in faking it, in playing games. Her mom has always pushed her to smile, to laugh and play games. To make people feel good to get what you want. And Jade has always hated it. It's almost as if she's chosen to take the exact opposite route.

When we're getting on the freeway I see Jade's hands loosen a bit around the wheel. She's calming down. She takes in a deep breath.

"Thanks Cat" Jade breathes. "It means a lot."

Cat smiles to herself on the back seat. She doesn't say anything. She just smiles. That's the great things about Jade. You know when she says something she means it. "You welcome" she says.

"So you'll call me when you get there?" Jade asks.

"I'll call you at the airport" I answer. She nods.

"And then you'll call me when you get back to the airport?" she asks. We can see the airport now.

"Why only twice?" Cat asks.

"I don't get service on my grandma's farm" I explain. "Or internet connection."

"I wouldn't believe him if I hadn't been there before" Jade says. I see her smile. We park and head into the airport. They walk with me as far as they can. Jade's fingers are interlaced with mine. She let's go.

"Bye Beck!" Cat exclaims giving me a squeeze. Jade puts her hands on the back of my neck.

"Bye" she says quietly "Don't get too Canadian."

I smile and kiss her. "I'll try not to." We part and I walk away. I turn back around to see Cat and Jade walking through the airport. There's a shrill scream and I see Cat run into a gift shop. There's a shout and Jade is marching in after her. I laugh to myself.

**So I hope this chapter was the slightest bit enjoyable! Its short I know! I'M A FAILURE Anyways, I just love Jade.**

**I think she is such an amazing and interesting character- I don't know I feel like this has not only been relationship development, but a lot of head canon character development on my part. It's more than apparent from the show that she's more than just a mean girl (it's why I HATED the pilot- it was just about one of the worst episodes of anything I've ever seen). But In every episode after that we see her evolve and grow, and reveal herself. Goodness. Thanks! Please review!**


	10. A Notch in my Bed Post

**And it's done! I hope you guys end up liking it! I feel pretty good about it. Goodness this week has been LONG- Anyways enjoy and please review!**

When I get to my room in my Grandma's house I toss all my stuff on the floor and lie on my bed. It's funny how tow tired sitting on an airplane can make you. The whole trip I was looking at Canadian College flyers. It's always an option, but I don't know. It's so far. It's too much to think about at the moment. I roll over and look at the headboard of my bed. There are two chips at the head of the bed post, with scratches around them. I smile as I run my fingers over the notches.

We had been dating for ten months when I invited her to come up north with me for New Year's. It would be snowing I told her. We flew up just for a weekend. I remember when my grandma saw her. Jade was still had her pillow- well if you could call it a pillow. She had cut it up on the plane so most of it was shredded.

We were standing with our baggage when my grandma pulled up in her car, and Jade was still working on her pillow. There wasn't much left now. She had her laptop bag strapped on, with pages of notes of a script shoved into random pockets.

By the time arrived at my grandma's farm there was no pillow, there weren't even pillow shreds, they were shreds of the shreds.

"She doesn't like to be idle" my grandma said later, "I like that." She smiled at me.

Now if it was my grandmother on my other side, she'd be horrified, but my grandma isn't like my gran. My grandma was a pretty forward thinker of her time. She never saw anything wrong with being different, she never felt a need to conform.

Gran's finished dinner by the time we're inside and she told us to go upstairs and clean up. Lucille, Gran, is my grandma's wife. She's a lot smaller than my grandma but also much louder. As a child my grandmother's thought it would be confusing if they were grandmother, grandmother, and grandmother, so Lucille decided that she could be gran because "Dammit I am the shortest one I might as well have the shortest name."

"Well aren't you a pretty young lady!" she shouted when Jade entered the room. "You know I never thought you'd end up marrying an American, but your mom did and now you are!" She laughed to herself, and after some 'how was your trip' chatter and 'what is that damn thing in your hands' question directed toward Jade and her shreds they told us to go upstairs and get comfortable before dinner.

It was a bit awkward upstairs because we had slept over before, but we had never really slept together. The suggestive slept together. Sure things had happened, but that hadn't. Not yet, and I didn't want to do anything she didn't want. She started to put away her things, and I did on the other side of the bed.

"So is this a guest room?" she asked.

"No" I told her "Sort of. No."

"How is it no sort of no?" she laughed. She was in a good mood.

"Well it's kind of my room" I answered.

"Your room?" she asked.

"Yeah, but only sometimes" I explained as she placed her scissors on the bed rest.

"Your grandmas" she said, but she stopped "Grandmas, is that right?"

"They are _both_ grandmas, and they are bother grandmas to me."

"Well your grandmas aren't awful" she said.

"What?" I teased "Are you saying something nice?"

"No" she snapped "I just don't dislike them."

I smirked. "You like my grandmas."

We ate dinner downstairs, and mostly just talked about school, film, and art. It was a pleasant conversation. My gran made several remarks like "This girl has a brain in her head and a pretty face!" and "You're the type of person who's not afraid to get up in people's faces!" Around eight they got ready to go to sleep- farmers sleep early.

"So what do you do when they go to sleep?" she asked shivering slightly.

"We could go outside" I replied but she glared at me.

"Outside!" she exclaimed "It's freezing _inside!_"

"We could get some sleep" I suggested "I mean tomorrow is New Years, and we'll be up late, shooting off fireworks and such."

She took my hand on the way upstairs. "I can't wait to blow things up without having the cops called." I laughed.

"That is nice isn't it?"

When we were in my room, Jade turned to me and asked "Where do your grandmas sleep?"

"Downstairs- They probably passed out a while ago" I said as I sat down on my bed. She walked toward me slowly and leaned down pressing her lips against mine. I kissed her back gently, but it grew quickly, like a flame growing into a wildfire. I laid back and she was on top of me. I ran my fingers down her slender back, her hands ran through my hair. We moved in one motion, like when you combine to flames. She was so soft, but firm at the same time. My eyes met hers for a minute.

"I've never done this before" she whispered.

"Do you want to?" I asked. Her blue eyes stared right into mine. They were so heavy, so powerful, so beautiful.

"With you" she answered before leaning down and kissing me again.

I woke up in the early morning cold. I reached out for Jade, but she wasn't in my arms. I glanced up, and through the darkness to see Jade, leaning against the bed post, a cutting chipping noise breaking the silence.

I didn't say anything at first, I just watched her. I saw the glimmer of her scissors through the darkness. She blew on the bed post, and then ran her finger over it.

"Sorry I woke you up" she said. Jade doesn't say sorry often. I knew that she had been thinking, thinking so much that she couldn't sleep.

"It's fine" I answered, sitting up in bed. "So what is this?" I asked, putting my fingers over the notch like she did. There were little scratches around it. She smiled as if she was embarrassed.

"It's stupid" she said her smile disappearing.

"Maybe it is…" I replied a "But I won't know if you don't tell me." She sighed.

"When we were like in fifth grade…" she said "There was this song that came out-" she hummed it for a minute "_I'm just a notch in your bed post."_

I immediately knew what song she was talking about. "You are talking about a Fall Out Boy song?"

"No…" she mumbled "I didn't know" She was trying to lie, but it was no use.

"You liked Fall Out Boy?' I teased. "You like Fall Out Boy?"

"It was a really long time ago!" she snapped.

"But you still no the lyrics to _Sugar We're Going Down"_ I asked. She glared at me.

"Well-" she stopped "Hey! You know the name of the song!"

I laughed. "But you just enacted the song" I argued "You put a notch in my bed post!"

She glared at me and tossed her scissors onto the bed post before rolling onto her side. Her back was facing me. I crawled back underneath the blankets and wrapped my arms around her placing my head on hers. We saw in silence when I started to hum. _ Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum_. I could feel her smile while I hummed.

In the morning Jade was in a fairly good mood. We ate breakfast with my grandmas. We were talking about the house, the farm, and my childhood.

"That's been Beck's room ever since he came home from the hospital" Gran laughed.

"Came home from the hospital?" Jade asked, putting down her bacon.

"Yeah- He was born out back in the city" Grandma explained.

"He wasn't born in America?" Jade retorts.

"No!" Gran laughed "He's a regular Canadian!" Jade turned to me.

"You're a Canadian!" Jade demanded.

I sigh as I run my hand over the two notches, remembering the first time we were together, remembering New Years, our first New Year's kiss, Jade's discovery of me being a Canadian.

It all seems so long ago. And it was so long ago.

My grandma is driving me into the city when my phone starts to buzz. I'm getting all my phone calls and messages right now, but I know none are from Jade. She won't text or call me until I call her, and she knows it's possible. She knows it's a waste. It's feels like I've been in Canada so long. Some of the schools were nice, and I'm thinking about it, but it really is far away, and none have amazing acting programs.

I open my phone to read the text messages. There are 4 missed calls from Cat, and a text from Andre.

_Some stuff happened while you were gone_

**And there's the chapter! I hope you guys liked it. Bum bum bummm leading into some stuff. Goodness we're just making out way through season two. I've gotten a lot of story alert things, and Please review! It'd mean the world :D**


	11. Jade's Battles and Her Aftermaths

**SORRY! I'M BACK Third quarter KILLED me.**

I'm at Cat's house. I was going to go to Jade's, but I realized after speaking with Andre, that this wasn't just a skirmish. Jade was genuinely upset, and when she's that sort of upset the last place you'd find her is home. It's about six at night. I knock on the door. Cat answers.

"Is this a bad time?" I ask.

"No" Cat says "My parents to my brother to the doctor again."

"How long has it been?"

"A few months. It's a record!" she says cheerily, but then her smile quickly fades.

"Is Jade here?" I ask even though I know. Cat nods.

"She upstairs in my room. She's really sad. She didn't go to school today" Cat tells me as we walk up the stairs "And she cut up our recycling bin."

"Sorry about that" I say.

"Don't be" Cat says "We were getting a new one anyways."

"Why?"

"My brother cut out the bottom" she explains "So that he could hang it in his room." She sighs as if it was simply an irritating action rather than something irrational.

We're at her bedroom door when Cat opens it. "Jade" she sings softly. "Beck is here."

"No!" Jade replies and I walk into the room. Cat follows me. Jade is sitting on Cat's bed with her scissors and large chunks of blue plastic. We both sit down on either side of Jade.

"I don't need you to come here and save me" she snaps. "I can take care of myself."

"Bu we don't want to save you" Cat says "We just want to be there for you" she puts her hand on Jade's shoulder. I take Jade's hand.

"We just want to do what we can to help" I say. She looks at me with watery blue eyes, but she bites it back.

"I thought- We were something like friends. We weren't friends, but now- I never want to see her again! What did I do? I retaliated later, but that's what happens and then it's over- Like an eye for an eye- But no she makes me prom queen! An eye for an eye and then take another!" She takes in a deep breath "I worked so hard on that play. I got gallons of blood! Fake and real! What do I do about it now?"

"You could still the play. We could-" Cat starts, but Jade doesn't let her finish.

"I told you!" Jade snaps "I don't need anyone to save me."

"I'm sorry" Cat says. Jade takes in a deep breath and squeezes my hand.

"_Dammit_" she mumbles under her breath.

It's not much later when Cat and I let Jade be alone for a while. Sometimes she just needs it, to digest, to compose, to rest, to fall apart while no one's looking. Just for a second.

"Okay-" Cat says on the phone "Thank you. Bye" she hangs it up as I make a right turn. "Andre said Tori's at home."

"Can you call Tori now?" I ask. Cat nods.

"Tori?" Cat asks into the phone "Hello? Oh. Hi!" My fingers tighten around the steering wheel. I know I have to let Jade fight her own battles, but this isn't a battle. This is the aftermath. "No she wasn't today. She's at my house. Why? Oh…" Cat looks around nervously "See you in a minute!" she shouts as she hangs up. "I told her we'd be there soon."

When we get to Tori's house Tori answers the door. "Come on in guys!" she says happily. "To what" she says waving her hands in an exaggerated manner "Do I owe the pleasure?"

"It's about Jade" I say as I sit down on her couch. Cat sits, and Tori sits down next to her.

"What about? Is she sick?" Tori asks "She wasn't at school today…"

"She's heart sick" Cat says and Tori looks shocked.

"You broke up with her?" Tori gasps.

"No I did not" I answer "But she isn't sick. She's angry and sad."

"About what?" Tori asks. I knew Tori wouldn't have a clue. I sigh.

"About the prom Tori. The prom."

"It was a _prome_" Tori retorts.

"I don't give a shit what it was called" I say in a harsher manner than I expected, "You made Jade cancel her play that she had been working really hard on!" Tori's a bit taken aback, but she recovers.

"Well everyone wanted a prome!" Tori responds "It's not like Jade's play was-" She stops in her tracks.

"Was what Tori?" I demand "Was what?" She doesn't say anything "Was good? Was important? Was wanted? No please finish your thought." She still doesn't say anything. This isn't what she's used to, she's not used to seeing me angry. I try to quell my anger, but it's only thinly veiled. I need to remind myself why I came here. Not to fight Jade's battle, to explain her pain.

"Jade puts everything into her writing" I say "It's her art. It's her passion, and you demeaned it. You ask all the time why you and Jade can't be friends, but then you do this. It hurt her a lot. You hurt her."

"I was just doing what everyone wanted " Tori replies.

"Can you please stop hiding behind you were doing what everyone wanted? It's an immature way to defend yourself. You could just try to take responsibility."

"Well she tried to destroy it!" Tori explains.

"Yes and then you had her carried away by a creepy baby man" I snap. "Does that make your action any better? The point of the matter is Jade worked hard on her play and you disregarded it." Tori says nothing now.

"It's important to her" Cat says "Like singing is to you."

We leave Tori's not long afterwards. I drop Cat off at her house. I don't go in. I know that right now Jade's in good hands with Cat, and I'm tired as hell. The time difference is starting to catch up to me so I go home to sleep.

**Question time!:**

**Beck has three grandmas?-**

**Yes. Two sets of grandparents, three grandmas. I thought it might get complicated.**

**Why is there a second notch?-**

**Well she was there for multiple days so-hahahaha. **

**What's boba?-**

**It's a drink (it could be a tea, or shake, or slushie type drink) but what makes it boba are the little bobas at the bottom- Boba are tapioca balls. LOOK IT UP I LURVE IT.**

**I never thought Jade had money-**

_**(I might go into some character back story here that I might go into during the story so if you don't want to read it don't but YEAH YOU CAN IF YOU WANT TO)**_

**Here's my thought process behind this- Hollywood Arts is most definitely a private school. With everything it has and all of its resources it would be an expensive private school. Then looking at the characters- Tori for example her family has money. You don't live in a house like that and send 2 kids (one talentless) to a private arts school.**

**Now Jade has nice things and she buys CRAP loads of coffee. Not reason enough- I know a lot of people give Jade physically abusive parents but I see no reason for them to be physically abusive. Especially after we meet her dad when he comes to her show. He's in a suit- he's a business man. He doesn't approve of Jade's desire to be an artist because of his beliefs of what is right for a career path. Career oriented. Jade's actions always seemed to me out of rebellion so I always thought it made sense that she rebelled against her parents in every way, and that's how I wrote her mom. Her dad is the opposite of her passions and her mom the opposite of her actions.**

**I see Cat's family as being pretty well off enough to pay for private school and still have a big house and such. Then I see Beck's family being able to pay but not having money to spare (but his grandmas' got BANK). Tori and Trina can pay- The only ones I can see as being on financial aid are Robbie and Andre. Robbie is an AMAZING ventriloquist (the actor really is a ventriloquist) and while he was some sort of strange split personality disorder I feel like that would still really impress the admissions peeps. Andre, not he's fantastic at everything so there's a total possibility that he could be on aid. He has the largest possibility actually because he's just AMAZING. **

**And those are my thoughts. **


	12. Her Breath in the Dark

**I'm back! With a new chapter! A lot of people have been favoriting and such :D. It would mean the world to me if everyone just took a second t review, because I really want to know your opinions on the story so far (i.e. what I'm doing wrong etc) ahahahhaha Anyways, I want to thank you all for reading this story! Please enjoy and review! **

I woke up alone in the dark the next night. I'm in bed when I hear a creak. I think about rolling over, but I don't. The bed creaks, and I feel a second person. A soft face presses against the side of mine. I smile.

"Where've you been today?" I ask.

"Around" she says. I've missed her. It's been weeks since I've seen her, talked to her, touched her. She's so soft. "You're coming to my play next week."

"I am?" I reply playfully.

"Yeah, _Clowns Don't Bounce_" she explains.

"How did that happen?" I ask as I roll over. I can't see her, but I can feel her warm coffee tinted breath against my face.

"Vega convinced Sikowtiz to let me do it next week even though it's not a play night" she answers me "The school was supposed to be closed, but she convinced them…"

"So Tori did all this?" I press.

"Yeah, she said she felt bad or something stupid" Jade mumbles. I know that while she's angry and hurt, she's also a little bit happy. Just a little bit. "I know you talked to her" her voice is serious.

"I figured I wasn't fighting your battle, just helping you clean up the aftermath" I explain.

"Well I'm still mad at her" Jade snaps.

"And I don't think you shouldn't be" I say, pulling in closer to her so that the tip of my nose touches the tip of hers. I think it's the tip of her nose. "Sometimes Tori does stupid stuff, she doesn't think about the consequences of what she's doing, or saying."

"Not when she's trying to get what she wants" Jade mumbles. I laugh a bit.

"She's pretty good with people" I chuckle. "But I really don't want to talk about Tori anymore." Jade's silence is question enough. "I haven't even seen you alone since before I left for Canada, and we're sitting here talking about Tori."

"Well then why don't you do something about that" Jade teases, and I lean forward and kiss her, but It doesn't feel like her lips. She laughs.

"That's my cheek idiot" she laughs, and I feel her hands take my face and pull my lips to hers. We're kissing for a minute when I interrupt just for a second.

"You got my lips perfectly" I say with a breath in between kisses.

"You know I like to spend my time in the dark" she says her lips rubbing against mine as she speaks. I press forward and kiss her, and then run my fingers through her hair as she pushes into my arms.

It feels good to wake up entangled with Jade again. She's still asleep. I need to wake her up soon, we have to go to school. I've missed weeks, and she's missed two days, but she looks so peaceful, and I doubt she's slept peacefully for the past few weeks.

I try to slip out from her arms without waking her up. She moans, and I try to move quickly. I'm out of bed and she repositions herself, reaching out for the blankets, and pulling them into herself. I start to make coffee for when I wake Jade up. I look down into her bag and take her phone to plug it in. I doubt that she's charged it for a few days. As I expect it's dead. When I plug it in, it start vibrating wildly. Seven missed calls. From her mom and dad. I sigh and put her phone down. Pretty soon I'm placing a mug of coffee in her hands, and she groggily wakes up.

"Thanks" she says and she sips it, and her eyes flutter open.

"We've got to get ready for school" I remind her "And you have a bunch of missed calls from your parents."

She groans. "Sometimes" she mumbles "I should think a head."

**The end! Of everything! Just kidding, I'm definitely going to keep writing this story. I plan on making it up to the present episodes (Eventually) and as said previously I will also have chapters that aren't in direct connection to the episodes! Please review!**

**I'll be working on this and my Hunger Games story from now on, so I'll try to keep updating as much as possible! Thanks!**


	13. Being Broken

**I'm back! I started thinking about this after 'The Wood'. I hope you like it! Let's talk about dreams real quick- My dream right now…. Among my many other dreams, is to have 100 reviews on a story. Crazy isn't it? If only someone could make it come true I'd cry all night and eat Jello :D ENJOY!**

Jade's dad's boss owns a junkyard. Now when I say Jade's dad's boss owns a junkyard, I mean her grandfather owns the land that the junkyard is on. Jade's driving us there now, it's on the outskirts of town. Her scissors were in her backpack. In her car there's a small pendant swinging as we drive. I poke it.

"Careful" she scolds me swatting at my hand. "You'll break it."

Jade and I drove down when we first started dating. It was during the first time that Jade didn't have her car when we were together. She called me, shouting into the phone. At first she was entirely unintelligible. I pulledthe phone away from my ear, and then put it back to my ear.

"Jade?" I asked into the phone.

"My dad took away my car!" she exclaimed.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he's stupid!" she shouted into the phone. "I'm so angry!" I heard a loud smash.

"Jade?" I said into the phone.

"I can't be trapped in here!" she shouted.

"Jade? I said firmly, and she quieted down. "Jade, do you want me to come pick you up?"

"Yes" she said softly into the phone.

"I'll be there as soon as I can" I said. I hung up and drove over to her house. I'd been there before. When I pulled up I could see Jade's mom. Her eyes were trained on me. I was about to pull out my phone to call her, but I shoved it back into my pocket. I knew that was what Jade's mom was expecting.

So I walked up to the front door and knocked. But nothing happened. I stood there for another minute before I noticed a doorbell. It was beautifully decorated. I pushed the button and there was a soft ringing noise that rippled.

A few minutes later Jade opened the door. She looked confused. "You came to the door."

"I did."

"You could have just called" she replied, but I shrugged.

"I'm not that kind of guy" I answered. We got into my car and I started to drive. "So what was the plan from here?"

"Can we got to this place?" she asked.

"What place?" I questioned.

"Take a left on Melrose" she said. My hands tensed around the wheel as I thought about turning. But I turned, and I drove. Pretty soon we're no longer in the city, and Jade tells me to pull into a junkyard.

"Here?" I asked "You wanted to come to a junkyard?" A mischievous smile spread across her lips. "Is this even legal?"

"My grandpa owns this place" she explained quickly "Pull in." I did so and we drove through the piles of junk. A man saw us, and Jade rolled down her window. He nodded, dismissing us. "You can park here" she said.

"So why do you come here?" I asked as I followed her up the mountains of garbage. She yanked out her scissors and snipped them twice.

"I've been coming here for years" she answered me as she positioned herself on the hood of a car, the car itself missing. She patted for me to sit next to her. I sat down, and she started rustling through the junk until she picked up a strip of metal.

"Years?" I breathed "It's a bit strange to come to a junkyard for years. Most people I know have been going to parks for years or gardens."

"Well this is a garden of metal, and a park of broken dreams" Jade snapped. "When I was younger, I used to break a lot of things at my house…" she started chopping up the thin metal with her scissors.

"Things?" I said, and Jade looked up at me for a brief second, a grin on her face before returning to her chopping.

"A lot of my mother's things…" Jade explained "And so my dad would take me here, and while he made business calls, organized his life, wished he had a different daughter- you know the usual. I'd break things here." She started to drop the metal chunks back on the mountain.

"What do you do with what you break?" I questioned as I picked up the thin strip of metal Jade had just discarded. She tossed down another.

"I just leave it. What can you do with broken crap?" she mumbled, becoming involved in her cutting.

I didn't answer her, as I picked up the wires, the shards, the strips. She kept cutting, and I kept picking up the strips, the wires, the shards, weaving them together, bending them into one mass. After about an hour Jade looked over at me.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Things" I teased.

"I can see that much" Jade snapped. "Everything her is broken, there isn't anything left to do with it but throw it away."

"You're wrong there" I answered "Things break all the time, and you can't fix them, but it doesn't mean they can't be made into something new. It doesn't mean they are any less valuable."

She stared at me for a minute, and I placed the ball of metal and wires in her hand. She rolled it around in her palm for a few minutes, staring at it. "Beck" she whispered. "How do you feel about us?"

"Us?" I repeated. She swallowed, it was as if that wasn't what she wanted to ask.

"Beck, how do you feel about me?" Jade asked, her voice soft, tender. I took her hand in mine and turned to face her, the metal between our fingers, it's sharp edges pressed against our skin.

"Jade, you're smart, you're funny, you're real… You're more real than anything I've ever known before. You love the rain, and the dark. You're passionate, and you fall into your writing, and directing, into this creative madness. You're harsh most of the time, but you're tender at others. You're breath smells like coffee. You have the voice of an angel. You don't like people seeing you cry, or being weak. You secretly love cheesy rock bands, you-"

"Beck those are things about me" she interrupted "I want to know how you feel about me."

"Jade" I breathed, my face inches away from hers "Jade I love you."

She didn't say she loved me too, she didn't kiss me, she didn't talk, she looked at me. She really looked at me. Her eyes bore into me, and it was as if she saw me, she saw me better than anyone else, in perfect clarity, and I her. Her eyes were watering, but she blinked back the tears.

When we get there Jade gets her scissors and I get my book and we walk through the towers of junk. There she cuts, and I read. Today it's _The House of Bernarda Alba, _a play with only female characters. I read lines, trying to do my best, and Jade laughs and critiques me as she cuts up an old soda can.

"You need to work on your Bernarda, she's a patriarchal matriarch, not just some angry old woman" Jade tells me with a smirk.

"Sorry, I don't often get the part of patriarchal matriarch, it's a bit much to wrap my head around" I reply and she laughs.

"You're a good actor" she says "I've got high expectations for you. You can handle the role of Bernarda" she snorts "Not that you'll ever get it."

"Hey!" I argue "Maybe one day I'll have to play Bernarda, or someone like her."

"Doubt it" she retorts. We keep going like this, reading, talking, and pretty soon, I'm lean back comfortably on the back of a washing machine. I close my eyes and Jade starts to sing.

"_It's you, it's you, it's all for you. Everything I do. Tell you all the time. Heaven is a place on Earth with you. Tell me all the things you wanna do. I heard that you liked the bad girls honey. Is that true? It's better than I ever even knew."_

I listen to her sing the rest of the song. _Videogames_ isn't normally the type of song she sings, so it's a bit odd. I was expecting something darker, or sillier like _Say that We're Sweethearts Again._ But she sang _Videogames._

"In the mood for Lana del Rey?" I ask her.

She shrugs "Just in a mood."

"That was a quick change…" I note.

"Not really" she answers, dropping the lid of a bottle down the mountain.

"How so?" I press. She's silent for a minute and I know she's thinking.

"It's funny how we live a life of tradition, of ritual, and at the same time our relationship is chaos" she starts "I mean at one moment we're like this, and the next we're exploding…" she sighs " I like to call it organized anarchy." She takes another lid and hurls it off the mountain. "But sometimes, _sometimes, _ I think…maybe the reason things go wrong…maybe the reason it's anarchy is because of me, but times like this I'm just so…" she stops.

"Happy?" I finish. She doesn't say anything. "But maybe it's not anarchy. Maybe you're just a person. Maybe we're just people. Happy broken people."

"No one else is broken" she breathes.

"Jade," I say firmly so that she looks at me "Everyone is broken. Just, everyone else, they hide it, and you don't."

**Oh, and there can be a time difference from California to Canada, it just matters where you are in Canada- Los Angeles is Quebec is a yes!**

**And Matt (ze actor) is a ventriloquist. Which is part of why I love him.**


	14. Isn't that nice of you

**You know what would be really cool? Making it to 100 reviews…that'd be awesome *wink wink nudge nudge* Alas, I'm sorry I've been gone so long, but I hope you enjoy this! It's not the best chapter I know, but please review!**

** If there's any unsettled Bade in your head from previous episodes let me know!**

Jade sits next to me. She's grumbling because she feels dirty and gross, but she has reason too. We did just get on the plane, and a few hours ago we fled from a foreign prison into another country. So, for once, she's underreacting. But then again, maybe she's just tired. Before the plane takes off she rests her head on my shoulder.

"Ready to go back to school?" I tease trying to lighten the situation.

"Don't even" she yawns as she falls asleep. Tired, I reason. Not even anger can overcome how tired she is, how tired I am, but I can't sleep. For once I'm relaxed and I can't sleep. I think for a moment about how neither Jade or I have had coffee since we left for this trip. I sigh and lean back into my chair, resting the lids of my eyes.

"Jade?" Cat says in a whisper, but as loud as a shout.

"She's asleep" I answer without opening my eyes.

"Oh…" Cat sighs "Well I wanted to tell her we have internet here so she can check her email!"

"What?" I say as I open my eyes and look at Cat. She is hanging over the back of her chair. It's a small plane, so there are only three columns of two.

"Yeah!" she exclaims "Robbie took out his pear pad and we got a connection and now we're going to watch a movie. I really want to watch an animal movie, so he's looking for one. One time, my brother and I were watching a movie about a Turkey named Fred-"

"Miss" a small woman with a sharp smile asks, her eyes trained on Cat. "We're going to take off soon could you please sit down?"

"Yes mam!" Cat retorts, but doesn't sit down.

"Miss I need you to sit in your seat" the woman repeated.

"Yes" Cat repeated.

"Now" she demands.

"Okay" Cat replies.

"Cat" Robbie whispers "You need to have your seat in the seat."

"What?" Cat asks.

"Your…er…" Robbie struggles for a second and I chuckle to myself. Rex snickers.

"Your ass Cat. Put your ass in your seat" Jade snaps, her eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Apparently sleep can't win for long.

"OH!" Cat laughs "Sorry!" she flips around giggling and finally sits in her seat. A few seconds later Jade is fast asleep, muttering in devil speak to herself.

I'm about to fall asleep when I realize that this is a long flight, and there is no way we're both going to sleep through it. I slip her pear phone out of her pocket and open Peartunes. We'll need something to do when we wake up, and a movie seems like the best plan. I flip to her 'Buy Queue' in search of a movie she hasn't watched to watch when I flip onto 'I'm a Cyborg But that's Okay'. I let it load, in hopes that it will load before we take off, and then I fall asleep.

I wake up and my shoulder is cold. Drowsily I glance over to see that Jade isn't in her seat. I stand up and look around for her. We're still in flight. Andre is passed out with his headphones on, and Tori is sleeping in a ball, her legs dangling over the armrest of her chair. Robbie and Cat are directly behind them, Rex between the two. They're watching a movie with an animated Platypus. I wonder how long they've been awake when I see Robbie's eyelids are drooping low.

Something warm presses against my back. "I got you coffee" I hear Jade's voice say. I turn around and her arm is outstretched. I take the coffee.

"Isn't that nice of you" I tease.

"Don't get used to it" she grumbles as she sits down in her seat.

"Thank you anyway" I say as I sit down and give her a kiss on the cheek. "How long ago did you wake up?"

"Not too long ago, the attendants say we are an hour and a half away" she whines as she takes another sip of her coffee.

"Well I have something we can do-" I start.

"No! My mouth taste like disease!" she snaps.

"Wonderful" I laugh, it's good to see her spirits are up. "I was thinking something more along the lines of this…" I pull out her phone.

"That's my phone" she states.

"Yes it is" I reply, intending to further frustrate her. I type in her password. "Where are your head phones?" I ask.

"Why?" Jade retorts. I glance at her and she sighs reaching deep down into her purse and pulling out the head phones.

I plug them into the phone and we put on in each of our ears. It's starts to loads and she smiles.

"I've been meaning to watch this, I hear it's… disturbing" a mouth curls into a grin as she leans her head onto my shoulder. "A perfect way to end a horrendous vacation."

**Not my best chapter, but there will be better ones/longer ones/more often…ones… Hahahaha, but I hope you enjoyed this little piece! I tried to give us a spot on the Victorious time line. Please review!**


	15. Whatever it is

**I meant to write an answer to an old review- Part of the point of this story is that all of it is from Beck's point of view, it's seemingly about Jade, but at a second glance it is also, by extension about Beck. Because everything we learn about Jade is from Beck's point of view we also learn about Beck and who he is, where he comes from and what he thinks, so it is not only 'About Jade', but it is also 'About Beck'.**

** Also…I just realized I'm getting close to the Worst Couple? Is it bad that I'm excited? And everything will fit with the canon. Oh and this chapter isn't about the movie, it's more about Jade's dreams. Once again not my best, but I'm setting stuff up for later!**

We are lying in bed when I hear her breathing, but it's not a sleeping person's breathing. I know it's late, we went to bed late, we got to her house late. It's late and we have school in the morning, and I am beyond tired. She's awake.

"Still awake?" I ask into the darkness quietly. It's not like a I need to be quiet, not like her house is so big that I would be scared if her mother heard me, not because I am scared of her mother, but because it would mean she had some sort of unworldly powers. But none of this really pertains to the moment at hand even though it's running through my mind while I wait for her to answer.

"Still thinking" she says.

"About?" I press knowing she wants me to.

"I'm a Cyborg But That's Okay" she answers. She sounds alert. Far more than I am.

"Mhm?" I mumbled "What about it? Was it too tame for you?" I yawn.

"Go to sleep, you don't want to hear about this" she tells me, but I shake my head even though I can't open my eyes.

"No, no, no" I say loudly, and I can hear her laugh, and if I could open my own eyes I know I'd see her rolling her own. "I want to know."

"It was far from tame" she explains "And it was far from normal. Just thinking about a film like that…it was perfect. The characters were crazy and so it was all logical, and we just got to see there madness…"

"I thought it was sweet" I answer.

"What do you mean sweet?" she retorts "Unless you mean sweet as 'in the scene where her fingers turned into guns and she shot all the doctors was pretty sweet'" she says in deep mocking voice.

"No that was not how I meant it, nor how I said it" I argue rolling over and opening my eyes just slightly. "The way that he loved her, and he didn't think she was crazy or question her, he just loved her so much he wanted to help her be happy, even if that meant exploding." By the way she bites her lower lip I know she thinks it too, but she'll never say it. She just stares at the ceiling. I move closer to her and kiss her cheek.

It made me think of us, of her and I. Even when people said she was crazy, even if she thought she was crazy sometimes, I loved her.

"Well every bomb's dream is to explode" Jade adds a few minutes after the kiss. I close my eyes and smile.

"Is that your dream?" I whisper.

"Not exactly" she answers.

"Whatever it is" I say "Let me know, so I can help you every step of the way."

"Whatever it is?" she asks.

"Whatever it is" I reply closing my eyes. I'm starting to fall asleep when she whispers to herself.

"I want to make people feel like that" she yawns "I want to make people think."

I remember the first time I watched the Oscars with her. It was the 2009 Oscars. We were sitting on her couch with Cat. She had invited me over earlier in the day.

"It's the one thing a year I never miss" she told me.

"The one thing?" I asked. "What about your Birthday?"

"Jade doesn't like Birthdays" Cat said as she shoveled a handful of carrots in her mouth.

"That won't work" Jade told Cat as she struggled with the carrots. I laughed a little bit at Cat's distress and agreed with Jade, taking Cat's hand and pushing it below her mouth where she spit out a few.

"Thank you" she said through mumbles.

"Sh!" Jade whispered with excitement "Commercials over!" It was time for Best Director and Best Picture. "That," she said "That's where I want to be."

"You want to read an envelope?" Cat asked "Because my brother gets lots of envelopes, and you can read them! He doesn't…"

"No" Jade said "I want my name to be in the envelope."

"I don't think your name is any of my brother's envelopes…" Cat replied. Jade rolled her eyes as we waited for the announcement.

'Katherine Bigelow!' the television said. Jade stomped her foot angrily.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Is that the balloon movie?" Cat added before turning to me "I want the balloon movie to win, um, Up!" Cat paused "Isn't that funny? Balloons go up, and the movie is called Up!" She giggled to herself. "Clever."

"Wrong award Cat. This is Best Director and Katherine Bigelow just messed me up!" she grunted falling back into the couch.

"The issue being?" I pressed.

"I wanted to be the first woman to win the award for Best Director" Jade answered with an angry sigh.

Cat gasped "But she just won!"

"I know!" Jade retorted.

"I'm sorry" Cat whispered. Jade rubbed her temples.

"No I'm not mad at you" Jade said, but it was more as if she was talking to herself than Cat "It's Katherine Bigelow's fault, and the academy's." Cat smiled eating a few more carrots.

I laughed a bit to myself when I noticed Jade become alert again. "Best Picture!"

"Oh!" Cat cried.

"So you want up?" I asked Cat. Cat nodded fervently.

"But Jade doesn't" Cat grumbled "She made me go see Inglorious…" she looked around nervously and then whispered in my ear "Bas-"

"Basterds" Jade shouted with a smile.

"Yeah, it's the one about history, and it's really scary, and it's her favorite…" Cat said, nodding her head from the left to the right as she spoke.

"I have a feeling" I told them "That it's going to be Avatar." Jade leaned into me and crossed her fingers. I put my arm around her.

"_The Hurt Locker_" the television announced. Jade stomped her foot again.

"Katherine Bigelow again!" she groaned. I laughed a bit. "What're you laughing at?" she snapped.

"It's just weird to see you so invested in something" I said.

"I am not invested!"

"Really?" I teased as I leaned in to kiss her on the lips. She kissed me back.

"Maybe a little bit" she answered when we heard another stomp.

"But I loved the balloon movie!" Cat whined.

When we got back to school the next morning I realized that we were halfway through our junior year. We walk downstairs to heat up coffee when Jade's mom appears. She knows I sleep here sometimes, but she pretends it doesn't happen.

"Jade" she says happily her arms outstretched, for a moment I thought her mother might hug her, but after a moment I realized that there were pamphlets in her hand. "I've been looking at schools for you, ones with good business programs where there will be plenty of successful boys!"

The one thing I don't like about Jade's mother pretending I don't sleep here, is that she practically pretends I'm not here.

"Not interested" Jade snaps, getting her keys from the kitchen key plate.

"Jade!" her mother calls, but Jade is walking away.

"Good bye Mrs. West!" I say as I turn to follow her daughter.

"Jade we _will_ be having this discussion sooner or later!" she shouts as Jade opened the door.

"Later!" she shouts before slamming the door shut.

**HAHAHHAHA DONE- The next couple of chapters are going to be some good fun! I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**

**Oh also 'I'm a Cyborg but that's okay' is a real movie, and if you can handle weird (like somewhat violent weird stuff and other weirder stuff) stuff I strong suggest it. It's this fantastic Korean film that kind of reminds me of Jade and Beck. All the movies I mention are real though!**


	16. A lot of flying and driving

"**I strong suggest it"** **Sorry about that I really should learn how to type, or at least proofread ( I know how to proofread, I just don't) Normally I try to keep all the dialogue in line with the show, but I can't find this episode online, so I'm just doing what I remember- Sorry if that part is off. Hope you enjoy!**

Jade gets back from her college trip on Tuesday. She left Friday night with her dad to go look at a few colleges on the East coast. Monday was dull. Andre was really excited about this new song he was working on and Tori said she'd help him. It was a quiet day, and when you're dating Jade you aren't used to quiet days.

I was hoping to hear her car pull up that night, but it didn't. I thought about calling her, or driving over to her house, but I didn't. She hadn't called during the weekend, which could have meant that she had gotten in a fight with her dad.

The college situation is a tense one. Her dad, he was never really into the arts path, but Jade isn't giving it up. Not even close. Around twelve there's still no sign of Jade so I head to bed, turning off the lights in my RV.

When I wake up I hear a loud knock on my door. I roll over an see it's seven. Crap, I need to hea to school. Groggily I get up to open the door, and see Jade.

"Almost ready to go?" she asks. She doesn't seem angry, she almost seems…happy? She has a cup of coffee in her hand.

"Yes" I answer gesturing to my sleeping attire, which consists of boxers, and socks. "I'm sporting a new look."

She rolls her eyes and smirks, walking into my RV and shutting the door behind her. "If you added a scarf, I think you'd complete this 'look'."

"Ha ha" I reply as I sift through my drawers looking for a shirt. "I wasn't expecting to see you so early." If at all I add in my head, but I don't know what's happened this weekend so I'm careful with my steps.

"I'm still stuck on Eastern time, so it's like 10 30 for me" she laughs "It's going to take a couple days before I'm back to my regular schedule."

"Where did you visit?" I ask, pulling a shirt over my head.

"Emerson, Weslyan, NYU, Fordham, Bard…" she lists, looking up at the ceiling. I slip into my pants.

"You guys went all over the place" I say.

"Yeah" she replies taking a sip from her coffee "A lot of flying and driving."

"Hold on, I gotta brush my teeth" I say as I head out of the RV.

"I'll wait in my car" she shouts back, and I smile, glad that my day won't be as quiet as the previous.

We get into her car and she doesn't seem to irritated, in fact, she doesn't seem irritated at all. Even when we are at school she's smiling. Some people give her strange looks, looks of terror, but she doesn't mind. She pulls out new scissors.

"So bribery?" I ask, referring to her trip with her father to the East Coast.

"Hm?" she answers "Oh yea, kind of." The bell rings and she turns to me. "I have a meeting so I'll see you at lunch." I kiss her on the cheek.

"Bye" I say before she leaves and I head to my locker. I'm getting out my books when Cat bounces by.

Later in the day I'm meeting u with Jade and Andre. Tori couldn't sing Andre's song, so I suggested Jade. It's always bugged me a bit that they were never friends, I mean my best friend, my girlfriend? Not that I want to push Jade into making any friends she doesn't want to, and not saying I don't have other important friends. It just seems easier to help her become a little bit friendly with Andre for two reasons.

She respects Andre because she thinks he's talented. The second being she knows I'll never leave her for Andre. Of course, I don't plan on leaving her, but she doesn't seem to wholly believe that.

"I AM GOING TO KILL HIM" Jade screams as she charges into the room. I see Andre's face fill with fear, and I can't help but chuckle to myself.

"Uh oh" I hear him say under his breath.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Sinjin sat on my new scissors!" she hisses. Andre looks like he's about to quit, but I don't want him too. For some reason this feels like a good idea.

"Okay, okay. Calm down." I say, hoping to keep this from falling apart.

"I'm not gonna calm down! They're bent, they've lost their sciz!" she screams at me before hurling the scissors across the room. Now that she's disarmed I slip out, kissing her lightly.

"You kids have fun" I say without looking back at Andre.

I wake up to a text from Jade.

"We finished the song. I think I might have had fun" she had texted. I smirked.

"Maybe you did" I reply. A few minutes later I receive another text.

"I can't wait to hear the song" I read her next text aloud, an then another comes in. "Oh and I'm outside. The girls in front of your house need to leave now." I sigh and quickly get dressed, preparing to shoo them away. When I get out of my RV I see jade parked. I'm about to walk to my front yard to shoo away the girls, hoping they haven't put Jade in too bad of a mood when she waves to me. She's waving for me to come close. She rolls down her window.

"Get in" she says with a mischievous smile. I don't question but I get into the car.

The girls are hovering in the driveway.

"They're in the way" I tell her pointing at the girls "I can-" but she's already rolling down her window and sticking her head out.

"Hey girls" she calls in a sing song voice. Then I hear her rev her engine. "Better move!" she shouts, and they all run. "Not any more" she says to me, triumphant. I can't help but laugh a bit at my violent, and aggressive girlfriend who I'm so happy to have back.

At school, when we run into Andre, I can't help but notice he's acting weird. It really wasn't something I expected, after last night went so well, at least according to Jade. It's not fear, there's something in his stutter and his glances. There's a feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I ignore it.

"Via the internet?" Jade asks.

"I know it was weird" I say as we walk away. And it was weird, crush weird, but it's not possible so I shove it to the back of my head. Well it is possible, but, and then back to the back of my head, but not for long.

I've seen that look too many times. Unlike Jade I don't lash out when I feel as if someone is looking at her. She panics when girls look at me, but when guys look at her I just push it down and tell myself that she'll never leave me. But I can feel it coming, and it's uncontrollable. She's going to leave. One day she'll leave me behind without a glance back.

There will be other boys who will want her, who will love her. There are other places she'll want to be, other things she'll want to see. And for once I'm seriously thinking about losing her.

**I did see Tori goes platinum, and Worst couple(which will be the chapter after this one) and don't worry I've got a plan to keep all this canon- as long as Dan pulls this mess together eventually. Please review!**


	17. Obligatory Silence

**Two chapters in two days I'm on a roll here. WOOT WOOT. One review away from 100 I'm so excited! I hope you guys like this chapter- it makes me a bit sad. But I am excited that everyone is enjoying this story/it's getting so much attention. Please review and share with your friends!**

Jade left to see colleges a while ago, and now things are somewhat back to normal. At least for Jade, but for me everything has been turned upside down. I had never even thought about applying to college, I thought I'd go straight into acting, and I was never sure what she'd do. What we'd do if there was still a 'we'. It wasn't something I had ever really thought about, I was just always happy together, glossing over the details.

Every school she is looking at is on the other side of the country, and none of them are easy to get into. We still haven't spoken about it though. I've seen her during classes flipping through college websites, and film programs.

We're in my RV when I finally bring it up. She's lying next to me, reading _The House of Bernarda Alba._ "Jade, where do you see us in the next two years?" I ask.

"About nineteen" she answers flipping to the next page. She pulls a pen from underneath her pillow and marks something down. Jade believes in actively reading, she says if your passive when you read you get nothing out of it.

"You know what I mean" I say, propping my head on my hand.

"I don't actually" she replies, squinting at the text of the play "What are you trying to get at?"

"Jade" I say summoning up a breath of courage, hoping to say something she finds romantic, trying to stop beating around the bush "You can't go to the East Coast."

"Can't?" she snaps "What do you mean can't?" I realize she's taken it in a new way, that can't was the wrong word. That can't was something her father would tell her. She sits up abruptly. "You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do."

"I didn't mean it that way" I reply.

"What way did you mean it" she snaps.

"If you leave then we won't be able to be together anymore" I say.

"Why not? Because if I leave you'll cheat on me all the time?" she shoots.

"What?" I answer "No, but if you leave-"

"You'll dump me" Jade interrupts. "Because you never loved me."

"Jade of course I love you."

"Then why do you want to stop me from doing what's best for me?" she demands.

"It's not-" I try to argue, but she cuts me off.

"I'm done talking about this."

"Jade" I say "We have to talk about this."

"Not now" she retorts.

"Jade I don't want you to feel like-" I move in closer but she shrugs away. She doesn't look at me, and I could tell with one sentence I had managed to push her further away. She shuts her book, and I lie facing the ceiling consumed by my own thoughts, my own doubts. When the lights flicker off I know she's going to sleep, and when she doesn't roll towards me I know she wants to be alone. So I shut my own eyes and try to sleep, and Jade lies still, and silent. She doesn't toss and turn. There is no demon speak.

In the morning I get up before her to see that she is lying on the edge of the bed, practically falling off. I sigh and get up to make us coffee. I look at my phone and see it's about nine in the morning. For a moment my heart races and I think I've missed most of first period, but then I realize it's Saturday. Then the memories from our conversation last night come flooding in.

The House of Bernarda Alba is on the ground beneath Jade's hand. I pick it up and sit down on the edge of the book and begin to leaf through the book. At first it looks like the book is covered in scribbles, but I realize it's covered in Jade's notes. When she stirs I hand her coffee and she drinks it drowsily.

When her eyes start to open a bit more I put down her book.

"Jade about last night-" I start but Jade cuts me off.

"I don't want to talk about it" she retorts.

"It's important" I say.

"Yeah so you can decide if you need to go find a new girlfriend" she says her voice distant.

"Jade that's not it at all" I reply, but Jade kicks her feet over to the side of the bed before standing up and dressing.

"You know what my dad has an event tomorrow I have to get to" she says abruptly. She normally invites me to all her dad's business functions. He's happy with the arrangement because when I come Jade is less out of control, and Jade is happy with the arrangement because she doesn't like to be alone, surrounded by people she finds uninteresting and irritating.

"What time should I be there?" I ask. She's buttoning up her jacket.

"You don't have to come" she snaps as she hastily grabs her things. "Don't call. I'll call you later."

I try to think of something to say, but I don't want to make her more upset. The thoughts are in vain however, because in seconds she's out the door, and moments I hear her engine.

That night I'm still hoping for a phone call, but there isn't one. Andre, Tori and I were out earlier getting something to eat, talking about some movie Tori was auditioning for, and things seemed okay, but now I'm alone with my thoughts.

And they only get worse when I go on the slap. Cat posted pictures from the event her and Jade went to, some sort of fundraiser for something or other. I see Cat and Jade sitting at a table, Cat in the bathroom, Jade glaring, tons of pictures of food, and then a picture of Jade and a guy. The guy is tall with dark glasses and blonde hair. He's laughing at something and Jade is rolling her eyes. Not an angry rolling her eyes, a somewhat amused one. River Johnson. I click on his name and am brought to his profile. His picture is him in a bow tie with a couple of other guys. A prom picture I conclude. Most of his information is private, but I can see his recent activity. He's written on Jade's page. I click on it to see the post.

"Have you looked at the TISCH alum list yet?" it says. I copy and paste TISCH into the search bar.

It's NYU's prestigious art school. I feel a pang of jealousy when I realize that this guy, River Johnson, is applying to the same college as Jade.

I don't bring college up to Jade again, I don't talk about our future and she calms down a bit. But only a bit. She's still quick and testy with me, and I'm irritated with her because she won't talk about it. Because I'd like to be a part of this future too. Because I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep up. I'm afraid she'll outgrow me.

And we stop talking, just like before, unable to talk at all because we can't talk. She's testy with almost everything I do.

One night I'm helping Tori prepare for an audition and I get a text from Jade.

"Where are you?" it says.

"At Tori's house" I respond. She doesn't. She's getting more and more angry with me helping Tori, and I'm angry that she's angry, because I'm only trying to help a friend. Tori's nice, why shouldn't I help her? Would it kill Jade to be nice? Because her being irritable all the time is making her impossible.

After Tori beats the gorilla Jade comes over to my RV and we lie in bed. We don't talk, we don't have sex, we don't touch, we lay there in obligatory silence.

**Gwa, I can see the last line in my head to well. Hope you liked it. Or rather I hope you didn't since it's sad to see them this way. Please review!**


	18. The Worst Couple

**So I know a ton of you have this on alert, so please review! I wanted to make this as accurate as possible (so watched parts of the episode as I wrote this to make sure I got everything right) and then I threw in my own chiz. I hope you guys like it, or rather that you don't. **

I'm trying hard to hold onto us, but the more I try I feel like the more she pulls away from me. But as we're driving away from Sinjin's show, Queries for Couples, I feel doubt rising in me, doubt rising about us.

"Jade" I say "Did you see us in there? We can't keep up with this stupid game-"

"It was a stupid game" she snaps. I roll my eyes.

"Jade you know that's not what I'm talking about" I argue.

"No you're talking about how you don't want to be with me anymore" she answers.

"That's not what I'm saying either" I try to say, but Jade is honking. Sinjin is standing in front of the car. Jade shoves her head out the window.

"Move" she shouts.

"Hold on you guys forgot your-" Sinjin is saying, and I see him waving the trophy in the air. The Worst Couple trophy and I swallow harshly. The car rushes forward and Jade hits Sinjin and then drives away.

"You forgot to move" she shouts as we drive away. I can see her eyes are filled with rage, and I stop pursuing the conversation, realizing she won't even try to hear what I'm saying in this state. She drives recklessly through the streets and then pulls up to my RV. When we get there I get out of the car, but Jade continues to sit there, staring out the front window.

I don't ask if she's coming in, instead I walk into my RV, but I leave the door unlocked. I brush my teeth, turn off all the lights and get into bed. I'm lying there trying to sleep when I hear the door open. There's the sounds of water splashing, drawers opening, things falling on the floor, and the weight shifts on my bed. She doesn't talk though, and for once she doesn't cry. She just lies there and her silence scares me as I fall asleep. I wake up in the morning to a fully dressed Jade sipping coffee with large bags underneath her eyes. She's reading something on her computer.

I don't ask if she's slept well, or when she woke up, I just start to get ready for my day as I climb out of bed. I suck in a deep breath. We need to talk. I hover over her shoulder as I change and see what she's looking at- application requirements for colleges. I feel a tinge of anger, but I keep getting dressed.

When we're in the car I can't help but address out situation. "Jade," I start "Why are you doing this to us?"

"What?" she snaps as she hits the brake hard at the red light "What do you mean what am I doing to us?"

"I mean" I say angrily "What are you doing to us? Jade I just want to talk"

"Well I don't want to talk right now" she retorts.

"Jade you never want to talk" I reply. "You never want to-"

She turns up the volume on the radio, blaring the music loud so she can't hear me. Every time I turn it down, she turns it back up. I roll my eyes and she glares forward. At school I try again, but this time with Cat.

"Cat" I say "We need your opinion on something."

"On Global Warming?" she asks.

"No" I answer trying to keep her on track while I think I can communicate with Jade.

"Coz' i don't think that's really happening" she continues.

"Cat…"

"Seriously, i went to the movies the other night and it was so cold!" she exclaims, oblivious to the situation.

"Cat!" I shout trying to get her attention.

"Hi!" she smiles.

"We need your opinion on us." I say pointing at myself then Jade. Jade tolls her eyes.

"Why don't you just ask a monkey" she says strategically. She knows Cat too well.

"I saw a movie about a monkey!" Cat cries joyfully "He wears glasses and carried a gun"

From there one things just start to spiral out of control, Cat's covering her ears, and Jade and I are yelling at each other all over again.

" Oh, oh, so you think I'm ugly!" she says jumping to conclusions once again.**  
><strong>"WHAT?" I shout "Who sai-did I say she was ugly?"

And in moments we're attacking Cat again, as we yell at one another.**  
><strong>"Cat thinks we're a perfect couple" Jade yells.  
>"Cat, are Jade and I a perfect couple? I demand. Cat whimpers.<br>"DON'T ANSWER THAT!" Jade screams.  
>"ANSWER IT!" I shout.<p>

"SAY NOTHING" Jade shouts.

"COME ON" I yell.

"YOU COME ON" she yells at me. Cat faints. This is what we've come to.

It all leads up to Tori's house, to our big fight, where we say nothing and everything all at the same time.

"I'm tired of fighting" I tell her, because it's true, I am. I'm done with these battles, with all this screaming, with all this confusion. I'm not yelling, I'm not shouting. I'm done. I'm tired.

"Okay" she says calmly "I'm going to walk out that door, and I'm going to count to ten."

"Don't forget three" Cat calls, concern in her voice. "Some people forget it."

"If I get to ten, and you're not out there I'm going home, and we're over" Jade finishes before she turns around. "One" she calls before she slams the door.

"I would never fight with you" Trina whispers behind me. I ignore her.

"Two" Jade calls. I should walk over there. "Three" But she's been making me so angry, making everything so hard. "Four" she shouts. But I love her. I sigh and walk towards the door. "Five" but if she loves me why is she doing this to me? "Six" and suddenly I'm crashing to the ground and Trina's on top of me.

Suddenly I see everything about us flash before my eyes as I struggle. She's dating the boy with glasses. They're dating. She gets into college. She flies across the country. She reaches all her hopes and dreams. I never see her again. They pull Trina off of me and I get up.

"Seven" she shouts and I reach the door. I touch the handle, and the same future flashes before my eyes, but this time she leaves me because ehse outgrows me. Because I'm holding her back. "Eight" If I love her why am I doing this to myself? "Nine" If I love myself why am I doing this to myself. She'll outgrow me, she'll leave me, we'll hurt each other, she doesn't want to talk to me now, what makes me think she'll ever want to talk to me again. "Ten."

I'm holding the handle. Maybe if she still wants me, she won't do this to me. Maybe she'll open the door. Maybe I'll feel her at least move the door knob, maybe she'll come back.. But she doesn't. I run my hands through my hair, and turn to my friends, as they stare at me, distraught. But I don't want to talk about all of this.

"Let's play some cards" I say.

Trina leans on me all night. Tori is concerned. Cat upset. Robbie shocked. And Andre, Andre drives me home at the end of the night. And then, then I'm alone.

**Gwa, they are broken up, we've finally reached the Worst Couple. The next few chapters will still be going with the show however. I hope you guys enjoyed it and PLEASE review!**


	19. The Only Immortality We May Share

**And now for the break up chapters bum bum bummm. Hope you guys enjoy it. I can't wait to watch the Blonde Squad (related but unrelated) I love Cabbie ahahahhah Enjoy and review!**

I'm at Andre's house. He's getting ready for a date with Hope, and I'm sitting at his computer. It really is over. It's hard to understand. I press my hand to my side and think back.

He remembered one their first year of being together he and Jade had gone to get tattoos. Jade already had one, but this was his first. She had driven them to a small place on Melrose that she said she had been before. When they got there he didn't see the tattoo parlor, but there was an open door in the wall. She turned into it, and he gripped her hand as she lead him up a narrow path of stairs. At the top of the stairs, it split. There was another stairway leading down into a parking lot. She turned left, and I realized that the parlor had no lower level, it was just on the second level. There was a little waiting type room with black leather seats. I took a seat in one. On the other side of the room, past a small mini-wall were people getting tattoos.

On one of the walls there was a sign that said _You must be 18 years or older_. I stopped at that part and turned to Jade. We were not eighteen. I nervously watched her when I saw her procure and I.D.

"Just a minute Mrs. West" the man said before disappearing into a back room.

She sat down next to me. "Mrs. West?" I asked quietly. She brought her finger to her lips quickly.

"Which one would you like son?" she said with a smirk. "It's on me." I raised my eyebrow. Son? Why she began leafing through the design books I reached into her purse, and pulled out her wallet. Sure enough she had her mother's I.D. Jade was watching me from the corner of her eye, and I saw her smile.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. Jade did look remarkably like her mother, dark brown hair, big round eyes, pale skin. Her mother was a very beautiful woman, and very young. I wondered for a second if Jade used her mother's I.D. often.

"So what do you want?" she asked.

"What if we got" I started before falling into my dramatic monologue voice 'And this is the only immortality you and I may share, my Lolita'." Jade hits me lightly.

"We are not getting a quote from a book about a pedophile" she stated. I laughed.

"Lolita is not about pedophilia. Peter Pan is a book about pedophilia. Lolita is a book about a pedophile that's really about-" I started but Jade didn't let me finish.

"No quotes from Lolita" she said. "Think of something else."

I thought for a few moments- the chemical released when people fall in love, the Chinese symbol for love, the symbol for Venus- but I stopped myself. They were all too harlequin for us. We needed something that wasn't childish- and in order to not be childish we needed to be childish because all these ideas were trying so hard to be sophisticated and adult.

"Okay," I said "What if we each got half of something?"

"Such as?" she asked.

"Well you could help" I retorted.

"Um…a squirrel" she said with glee "We could have blood and organs falling out since we each have the other half."

"No" I answered "I really don't want a bloody squirrel anywhere on my body."

"Well I'm out of ideas" she replied letting her head fall back onto her seat.

"Really?" I questioned "A dying squirrel was your only idea."

"Yup" she said with a smile. We sat in silence for a few minutes. The man would soon be coming out of the room to come get us.

"How about we each get half a scissor?" I asked.

"A scissor?" she said, her eyebrow rising.

"Yes, you know how they always come in pairs, like you get a pair of scissors, even though it's just one thing?" I explained.

"So we each get a scissor?" she asked. I wasn't sure if she was going to like it, but her lips curled into a smile. "I like it."

When the man returned Jade told him what we wanted. He gave us a strange look, but then shrugged it off.

"Eighteenth birthday" he chuckled "And this is what he wants…" He lead us past the desk to the other half of the room where people were getting tattoos. On the ceiling there's a small disco ball. The walls are red, and there are seats and tables everywhere. Jade went first.

"Where do you want it?" the man asked. She indicated her side, right next to her breast, on the very top of the right side of her rib cage. The man nodded and led us to a table. She laid down, and the man set to work.

I held her left hand, and she squeezed it lightly, but she showed no signs of crying or even pain in her face.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

"Like someone is dragging a hot needle over my flesh and injecting ink" she answered. I winced, and she grinned. I looked down at the tattoo. It was bloody. I figured the blood would be gone by the time that he was done. At the end I looked again. Still bloody. It was bandaged, and then it was my turn.

"Same place?" the man asked with a grin.

"A little bit lower, and on the left" I replied. He nodded and I laid down. Jade took my hand, and I didn't' want to crush it, but I ended up squeezing it harder than intended. Jade didn't seem to mind though.

"The third time they trace is hurts the most" she told me, and I grimaced. She was right.

I'm sitting in Andre's room now, and my fingers run over where that tattoo is. And this tattoo is the only immortality that Jade and I will share.

Andre notices where my hand is, but he doesn't say anything. His expression says 'yup buddy that's there forever'. Instead he says "Beck, you shouldn't be on her slap page."

I ignore his warnings. "She says she's on a date. How is she on a date already? We just broke up" I say. Andre shrugs.

"People go on dates all the time" Andre replies.

"No" I correct him "You go on dates all the time." Andre chuckles.

"I don't go on dates that often" he answers me.

"No you do" I say.

"You'll go on dates again soon" Andre says, and I feel my stomach turn, but I don't show it with my face. I don't want to go on dates. I want Jade again. When I don't say anything Andre knows he's said something wrong.

"What are you doing tonight" Andre asks me, as he pushes past me and logs me out of the slap.

"Nothing's been planned" I say.

"I could call and cancel-" Andre starts, and for a moment he looks happy about it.

"No don't cancel on Hope, this isn't just a date" I say as cheerily as I can "It's a girlfriend date."

"You are right" he says, a look of determination in his eyes "It's not just a date. I've got to meet her father!" I raise my eyebrow.

"Or you could wait on that" I say.

Andre looks to me and then calms down. "You're right" he says "But are you sure you'll be alright tonight?"

"Positive" I say, picking up my things to leave. "I'm not a little boy."

After I leave, I don't want to go home, so I just drive around. That's when my phone rings. I'm feeling bored, so I pull over and answer it. It's Robbie.

"Beck I need your help" Robbie says.

"Help with what?" I say, taking the proper precautions for dealing with Robbie.

"I told Cat I could help her restring a guitar, and fix its neck" Robbie tells me.

"And you can't do that" I ask.

"No…it's just…my bike wheels were stolen and-" Robbie stumbles through his thoughts.

"You need a ride" I finally say.

"Yes please" Robbie says. I'm pretty sure I know how he feels about Cat, and how Cat feels about him. So with a sigh, I agree to pick Robbie up.

**So two things- First please review! I know over 100 of you have this story on Story Alert, so it would make me so happy if you guys would take the time to just review once! If you guys do, we'll hit 200 reviews! I'd be so happy.**

** Say anything- things you like that have happened, or things you'd like to see in the next few chapters (past episodes, future ones- things that are troubling). So please review!**

**Secondly, that would never work at a tattoo parlor in California, you must be 18 no matter what, and you must have and ID so in reality it would have been impossible for Beck to get a tattoo the way he did- But you know Tori gave 3 pints of blood so I thought SCREW IT! IT WILL WORK **

**So thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!**


	20. She'd Never Forgive Me

**Not very long, sorry. And with a long wait. I'd like to say when there's a long wait, most of the time it's because I want to rewatch the episode before writing it, but I can't find the episode. ANYWAYS Sorry the will be longer chapters up this week! Enjoy! And please review!**

I'm driving with Robbie, and the whole moment really is surreal. Firstly, I don't think I've ever driven with Robbie and just had it be me and him. Secondly, I'm still not all that used to driving my car. Jade used to insist that she drove us because her parents paid for her gas. Her argument was sound seeing as I don't have a lot of extra cash.

But now I'm driving my car again, and I have to get used to the brakes. Robbie doesn't complain though. He's rather cheery as we head to Cat's boss's house.

We head upstairs, and I think Robbie has tricked me, and I assume Cat has tricked Jade by the way her eyes widen before she glares at me.

"You didn't tell me Jade was going to be here" I say to Robbie before I accuse him of anything.

"I didn't know" he retorts, and I choose to believe him, and suck it up for the night. We're here to help Cat, not to cause drama, and Jade seems to understand that before I do.

Robbie seems to know what he's doing with the guitar, and Jade conveniently ended up helping Robbie. I thought she had a date tonight.

So I don't bug her, I keep my distance. I help Cat call the window repair man, and he asks for a credit card.

"Can we pay in cash?" I say into the phone.

"Seems pretty inconvenient" the man responds.

"How much would it be?" I ask. I figure we can pull together about two hundred dollars of cash. Not comfortably of course, but we can do it.

"For what you're describing" he answers "About five hundred dollars."

"Five hun-" I sputter "Excuse me, could you repeat that?"

"Five hundred dollars" he tells me again.

"It's only a window!" I exclaim. Cat looks up at my concerned.

"Sir" he says "It'll be five hundred dollars."

"Okay" I say into the phone, trying to be calm. "Five hundred dollars."

"What!" Cat cries. "We can't do that!"

"Then what will we do?" I say in the most matter of fact tone as possible.

"Uhh" Cat's eyes begin to water.

"I've got it" Jade states from across the room.

"What?" I ask, and I realize it's the first thing I've said to her, that has been, well normal, since we broke up.

"I'll pay for it" Jade says walking toward us and reaching into her back pocket.

"You're carrying five hundred dollars?" Robbie exclaims. Jade rolls her eyes.

"No" she answers "But I'm carrying my mom's credit card."

"Wait" Cat steps in front of Jade "Won't she get mad?"

"Like I care" Jade snaps, and then her eyes soften. "Besides it is my fault."

So I take Jade's mother's credit card and put down the number.

We've almost made it, when Robbie starts fumbling around with the skull.

"Robbie we don't have time" Jade tells him, but Robbie pulls away.

"I'm just looking at it" he argues, and faster than any of us are ready for the skull crashes into the glass table, and the tables shatters. Then the guitar swings down and his a light. The room is destroyed.

Everything we worked for…it's destroyed. I start thinking of way we can fix it, when Cat begins to cry. Then there's a buzzer, and we all know there's not enough time.

Cat is crying on the chair. I hate seeing Cat like this. I glance at Robbie and Jade, and can see we're all upset, we all love Cat in our own way, Robbie's differs greatly than Jade and mine, but seeing her like this, with no way to help, is painful.

That's when the earthquake happens. Jade recognizes it first.

"Earthquake!" she shouts, diving for cover. I realize that Cat is still panicking so I grab her in my arms and shield her with my body. And I'm praying. I'm praying that no one is hurt.

And somehow everything is alright, and somehow I'm watching Cat and Jade drive off in Jade's car safely. I let out a sigh of relief, and Robbie gets into the passenger seat.

After we drive for a few minutes Robbie turns to me.

"Why didn't you cover Jade during the Earthquake?" he asks, and his tone is accusing. I think he thinks it's because I'm angry at her. But I'm not angry at her, and even if I was I'd never let it endanger her.

"She was already covered, and Cat was closest to me" I tell him "If I ever let anything happen to Cat…" I pause, and Robbie is hanging on my words "Jade would never forgive me."


	21. Jade Trapped

** GWA GUESS WHAT About Jade is the fifth most favorites story, the fifteenth most followed, and the twenty-sixth most reviewed OUT OF ALL THE BADE STORIES ON FANFICTION ALL 440 SO HELL YEAH I JUST SHAT MYSELF WORDS CANT DESCRIBE THESE FEELINGS**

** Sorry I just wanted to share because I just discovered this- and sorry I haven't updated in forever. I just started college so I've been semi preoccupied/ we haven't had a new victorious episode in FOREVER, and I really want to keep things canon so gwaaa, but anyways new chapter! **

** Oh but please continue to review! I love reviews! They make me so happy!**

Cat and I are sitting in 'Acting for the Stage". She was down this morning, but she seems have calmed down. In fact, she seems cheery. Of course, it's not unusual for Cat to have mood swings.

"You seem to have cheered up" I say to Cat when class ends. She stares at me with her big eyes.

"I have?" she asks.

"Well you seemed" I gesture with my hand tenatively not wanting to upset her "a bit upset this morning."

"Oh" she replies "I was."

"But you aren't now?" I press. She shakes her head.

"No I am, but I'm not" she replies "Jade and Tori are going to drive me to San Diego!"

"San Diego?" I retort. It's a school night, and San Diego is quite a ways away. "Why San Diego?"

"Because Mona Patterson died!" Cat snaps as if offended.

"Mona Patterson from 'I married my mom?'" I offer, and for some reason Cat seems to relax, a smile appearing on her face when I reveal my knowledge of Mona Patterson.

"Yeah! Jade is driving me to visit her house! And Tori is coming!" Cat explains cheerily.

"To San Diego?" I repeat.

Cat nods fervently "We're driving my brother's car!"

"Why don't you take Jade's car?" I question, when our teacher walks in the room, and Cat's eyes become wide before se presses her fingers to her lips in an effort to silent me. As we start the class I'm busy thinking about Jade not driving her own car. I want to ask Cat after class, but I know it will take a long time to get to that point again with Cat and so I resolve I'll mention it at lunch to Tori. Even if Tori doesn't know, she'll make it her business to find out.

Jade, Cat and Robbie head out for lunch, so it's just Andre, Tori and I sitting around the table. Robbie said they were just heading down the street- walking. I took note of that when I sat down with my pizza at the table.

"See when you hear the word boobs" Andre is saying to Tori as I sit down "you think of boobs- you know- on a person. But when you hear the word 'boobies' you just think of boobs alone, floating around in space." Tori is staring at Andre, her eye brows creased.

"No" she finally says shaking her head and returning to her food. Andre looks at me, in hopes I'll say something helpful, but I just shrug. He lets out a long sigh and returns to his lunch.

"Where is everybody" I ask before taking a bite of my pizza. "I feel like Rex would have some great input at this moment."

"Robbie, Cat and Jade are going out" Andre said "They're walking over to Roscoes."

"Why don't they just drive?" the question comes out awkwardly, and I try to play it off. I know why Cat and Robbie can't drive. Neither has a car.

"Well Jade can't" Andre says, and the tension grows between he and I, a tension that Tori is unaware of.

"Why not?" she demands.

"She had her car taken away" Andre explains, looking at Tori, but nervously glancing at me. "After her parents got Sinjin's hospital bill, and some other bill they took her car away." I know what the other bill is in an instant. The bill for the window when they were dog sitting.

"That blows" Tori says, playing with her food. "How has she been getting to school?" I know the answer. Cat's brother drives her, and Jade fights with him too often. Robbie's parents drop him off, or he bikes, and Jade would never ride with Robbie. Trina drives Tori, and Jade would rather stick her tongue in a food processor. I'm not driving her. She won't drive with her mom.

"I've- uh- been picking her up and dropping her off" Andre tells us. Tori chuckles.

"It must be a pleasant drive" Tori teases, still unaware of the tension.

"Uh- yeah" Andre says, and I take a breath. I can't hold this against Andre.

"She's quite the character to drive with" I try to say lightly "And even scarier to been driven by." Tori laughs.

"I can't even imagine" she comments.

"No my poor heart wouldn't dare dream of it" a mocking voice echoes, and Jade Cat and Robbie join us at the table.

"I don't talk like that" Tori snaps and Jade smirks. She's sitting between cat and Andre, and it's weird not having her next to me. "How was lunch?"

"Great!" Robbie exclaims.

"Yeah I love chicken and waffles!" Cat chimes.

"I still don't believe that poultry and breakfast belong together" Rex comments.

"Well you're a puppet so no one cares what you think" Jade snaps, cruel and harsh. She hasn't even looked at me.

"Please don't use the word puppet it's-" Robbie begins but Jade's glare cuts him down mid sentence.

"Oh wait! Guess what we're driving to-" Cat begins but the bell cuts her off and we all head to class.

The rest of the day drags on.

I can't help but think of Jade, trapped, unable to drive away, unable to escape. I think of how sad and angry she must be, how trapped she must feel. I know how much she hates it and this time, I'm not there to pick her up. I'm not there to help her escape. I've left her alone.

After school Andre and I sit outside and get work done. We're particularly silent as we thumb through pages of our respective books.

"Beck" Andre says, looking up from his book. I turn to him. "you know you're one of my best friends right?"

"Right" I reply, a faint smile on my mouth at his use of the term 'best friends'. Andre, still uneasy, goes to return to his book.

"Thanks" I say solemnly and Andre looks up. He looks at me, guiltily, but I don't have to explain what I'm thanking him for. Or that I'm sincere. His shoulders aren't as tense as before. And we talk, and it's nice and I realize that this is what I have to get used to. Not being able to help Jade. Her not wanting my help. Her wanting no part of me.

**Short chapter I know, the next will actually have interaction between the two of them. GWA. It really bugged me that Jade drove Cat's brother's car in Cat, Rain and Fire because Jade has her own car so it just didn't click in my head. And then that spoiler gif with Andre and Jade!?**

**But I have plans for the next few chapters which won't take years to come and GWA CANT WAIT FOR THE NEW EPISODES GOTTA KEEP THIS CANON.**

**Please review and thank you so much for all of your support!**


	22. Touching Her

**I'm back! **

We're acting when I do something I don't understand. Because I understand that Jade and I are over, that she doesn't want me back, and that we're better this way.

But when I reach out and touch her unconsciously, she immediately pushes me away.

_"Don't touch mommy"_ she says, staying in character, but at the same time completely conscious of us.

So I don't touch her, and now I'm aware, I'm careful, I'm overly aware that I can't just touch her. Because Jade doesn't like being touched. Being able to touch Jade, it's not a right in her mind.

I remember before we started dating, when she and I were together. I liked her, I wanted to ask her out, but I hadn't yet. I was pretty sure she felt the same, but I wasn't sure, for multiple reasons. She never touched me. Most girls, when they flirted with me, they'd grab the side of my arm and laugh, or brush up against me. They'd make up weird reasons to touch, and by that I'd be able to get a pretty good idea that they were into me. But not Jade.

We were walking to Bricks and Scones, one of Jade's favorite coffee shops, when we ran into a guy I knew from my own school, Geon Pecorrari. His parents were from Italy, but he was born in here. Jade had met him a few times in passing.

"Beck" he said, and then turned to Jade. "Jade" he said leaning in to kiss her cheek, but she pulled back. He pressed forward, but Jade pulled back again. "Um"

"I don't like people touching me" she snapped.

"It's just a kiss" he said defensively. Now, by now, I knew Jade well enough to know that she has quite the temper, but I didn't really know how to help her with that.

"Well I don't want it."

"Okay" he said tossing his hands up slightly "I didn't mean anything by it."

As we walked to the coffee shop I couldn't help but think of the exchange Jade and Geon had had only a few moments ago. Many girls, upon meeting Geon, were flattered by his kiss on the cheek.

I wasn't sure how to ask, so when we were at the shop, I just asked.

"Why don't you like touching people?"

She shrugged "I just don't."

"What makes you not?" I pressed. It really was a strange idea to me.

"It makes me uncomfortable" she tried to explain, "It's just weird."

"But you touch Cat" I replied, trying to piece together the puzzle.

"Well I'm comfortable with Cat" Jade answered "It's not like I don't like touching people, I don't like touching people."

"That makes perfect tense" I teased. Jade's face twisted with frustration.

"It's not all people, I just don't like when people touch me, I mean, when I'm comfortable with a person, touching doesn't bug me-"

I took a leap "Are you comfortable with me?"

She doesn't answer, but I have a feeling she just doesn't want to tell me. I could see she was struggling with telling me what she really wanted to, and it was a moment that I came to understand Jade better. That she's scared. That you should never force her hand because she'll pull away just to pull away. That in time Jade let's you in. So I don't ask again.

We ordered our coffee and sat outside, watching people walk by. We talked about books and movies and our weeks, as well as our acceptance letters from Hollywood Arts. While we sat she moved closer to me. Our fingers grazed. When we left she leaned into me for a split moment. There was a store with tools (scissors, saws and such) and she took my arm and pointed to it. And when I left I hugged her goodbye and she hugged me back.

It wasn't until much later that Jade finished explaining what she had attempted to explain so long ago. It had been long since we had started touching, dating and sleeping together.

One day, about a year into dating, we were lying in bed trying to sleep, but sleep was alluding Jade. Not really me, I kept falling in and out of it, but Jade was wide awake. I could tell by her breathing, and her movements. When Jade is asleep she stops moving, and her breathing becomes very soft and quiet (with the occasionally demonic sleep talking out bursts). When she can't sleep her breathing is harsh, and she fidgets.

"Are you asleep?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"Nope" Jade responded. My arm was wrapped around her, pulling her close into me, and my face rested on her shoulder, near her face. I didn't say anything because I knew soon enough she would tell me. "Remember when you asked me if I was comfortable around you?"

"Mhm" I replied.

"I am."

"Good to know" I teased "I hadn't figured that out yet."

"I'm not joking" Jade retorted "But it's not really all about comfort- I mean touching people, it's trusting people."

"I trust you Jade" I told her "I love you." She didn't say anything for a few moments.

"I trust you too" Jade answered me. "I don't like touching people because I don't trust people." She quiet for a few moments. "Sometimes I feel really alone, because I'm pushing people away- I don't want to trust them, but at the same time- I don't want to be alone anymore. And I know, lots of people feel alone, but..." She paused, and then pulled closer into me. "It's like we're all desperately reaching for the same thing. Someone to hold onto, someone to be close to, some gross imitation of intimacy because in those moments it's like we aren't so alone anymore."

"Jade" I started, my eyes half open "This isn't an imitation of intimacy. I don't want you to feel alone, because you aren't alone. I'm here for you- I'm always going to be here for you."

She was silent, taking my words in. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her in closer.

"Beck" she breathed "I love you."

"I love you too" I whispered.

But that was so long ago, when Jade trusted me, when I had earned touching Jade, and now I didn't get to. Not even in a play. Not even when we were in character because she would always be conscious of us.

Tori had told me before the premiere of our play about her and Jade's date. It sounded pretty funny, but pretty frustrating as well.

We had just finished the play, when I saw _those guys. _The ones Jade and Tori had had to deal with the night before, Chad and friend. They follow Jade and Tori around for a while, and they just don't get it.

"Should we help?" I ask Andre during the reception of the play.

"Tori does look irritated" Andre comments "and that guy does look like a total waz bag."

"So it's decided?" I add.

"It's been decided" Andre repeats and we make our way over to Tori.

"Hey Tori" I say to Tori. "And hello...?" I look to the boy across from her.

"Nick" the boy answers "But if you two don't mind, I'm trying to make a time to have some alone time with this lovely lady." Tori grunts.

"I don't think she's interested" Andre comments.

"Hey, hey, hey" Nick retorts, straightening out his shirt for no apparent reason "No need to put words in this fine ladies mouth. She can say what she feels."

"Oh I'm not interested" Tori says. Nick smiles and laughs. "At all." He smiles, but then his smile fades.

"I don't understand."

"It's simple" Tori says. She's looking more and more irritated by the minute. "I'm not interesting in dating you."

"What about hooking up?"

"Or hooking up with you" Tori answers quickly "At all."

"Is one of these tough guys your boyfriends?"

"No, I just don't-"

"Are you a lesbian?" Nick interrupts. Tori's eyes widen in frustration.

"Yes!" she says her words drenched in sarcasm "I'm a lesbian. That's why I don't want to hook up with you. Because it wouldn't be the least bit realistic for me to not want to hook up with you because I don't want to. It's because I'm a lesbian."

Nick nods taking this in. "Well that's hot."

Tori's face at the moment is priceless. "Get out!" Nick looks shocked. "Go! No means no! I want NOTHING to do with you."

"Well fine then" Nick mumbles leaving "You could have been nicer about it..." He's walking away when Tori turns to us.

"Nicer!" she shrieks "NICER? Hours I took trying to be nice and he wouldn't leave me-"

"It's okay Tori" Andre says putting an arm around her.

"I was SO polite and he just-"

"It's okay Tori" I say patting her on the shoulder. "There are idiots everywhere."

"You can't please them all" Andre adds "Besides- he's gone."

A smile grows on Tori's lips. "You're right!" she sighs "He's gone!" She reaches out, hugging the both of us. "Where's Jade?"

"Haven't seen her" Andre replies.

"Neither have I..." I say. We're all getting ready to leave when I do.

She's walking to her car and I see Chad following her.

"But babe-" he says his hands hovering just over her shoulder.

"Touch me and I'll rip your kidneys out through your throat" she snaps. His hands pull back just slightly. I take a deep breath and decide to help. I walk over to her car, and lean against it, between the two of them. Jade's about to jam in her key.

"Is he bothering you?" I ask.

Jade doesn't bother to look up at me. "What do you care?"

"Sounds like the lady doesn't want you-" Chad begins but Jade snaps up angrily.

"I don't want EITHER of you here" she shouts. "Get it?"

"Still playing hard to-"

"I'm not playing anything" Jade interjects as she unlocks her car door. She gets into the front seat and slams the door shut. Chad walks up to her closed window. I step back. He winks and walks to the other side of her car. "You have seven seconds before I run you over" she tells him. He smiles as if it's a joke.

Jade turns on the engine. He's still smiling. She revs the engine. He's stilling smiling. She floors the car backwards so that now Chad is in front of the car. His smile disappears. She revs the engine. I see her holding up her hand. She's holding up three fingers. One goes down. There are two left. The second goes down. There's one left. Chad runs. Jade sighs, her shoulders collapsing, her face relieved. She drives up next to me, and her window rolls down.

"We aren't together Beck, and even when we were- I don't need you swooping in and trying to save the day. So do yourself a favor- because I don't need your help, and I don't want you help- and leave me alone" Jade demands, her eyes filled with fire. She rolls up her window and drives away.

**So when I saw the first promo for 'Tori Saves Beck and Jade" I was worried that the canon would ruin this story, but it didn't. Classes are keeping me PRETTY busy, but expect updates far more often from this point on. ANYWAYS looking forward to the next chapters! Please review!**


	23. There is no more us

I'm back! I'll be updating a few times before I classes start back up again! Sorry I haven't been doing that lately. My goal is to finish this story before the end of Victorious (SO SAD). I hope you enjoy, sorry it's so short, and please review!

Jade calms down a while later, and by a while- I mean about a week. For that week she avoids me, and when we do have to talk she is dismissive, which is unexpected. I was used to her attacking me, so this was- to say the least strange.

It's mornings like this that make me miss Jade. I'm standing outside of my car, with three girls I've never met before. Tori is locked inside my car, the girls trying to attack her from the outside. If Jade was here, this wouldn't have happened. Mainly because Jade used to scare them away in the mornings. Ever since she left, I let them ride with me to school. How they get to their own schools after that is a mystery to me.

"Andre?" I ask into my phone when it stops ringing.

"Uh huh- Grandma- No I'm on the phone- Grandma" Andre shouts. I pull the phone away from my ear as Andre fights with his Grandma. After a few moments I dare to pull it closer.

"Andre." I say "Andre. Andre! ANDRE!"

"Yeah Beck" he replies. I can't help but roll my eyes.

"I need you to come get Tori" I tell him.

"I thought you were taking her to school."

"She got in a fight..."

"With who?" Andre exclaims.

"Everyone" I sigh. "So can you come pick her up?"

"Yeah where are you guys?"

I glance back at the girls who are now glaring at Tori from outside the car. "Two blocks away?"

It's the longest fifteen minutes of my life as I wait for Andre to arrive. When Andre gets the two of us have to hold back the girls so that Tori can make it into Andre's car. I see Andre's grandma sitting in the back.

I don't see Tori again until I get to school. She's standing at her locker when I walk up to her. She turns to me and thrusts her hands into my face.

"Smell them" she beckons. I sniff her hands, and they smell oddly breakfast-y.

"Did they smell like that earlier?" I question, taking one of her hands in my own so I can inspect them. It's thin and soft. Her fingers are notably longer than Jade's.

"They didn't smell like this until Andre's crazy grandma dumped her oatmeal in my hands!" she snaps, yanking her hand from mine and waving it frantically in my head. I step back, trying not to accidentally get hit.

"Sorry about that" I tell her "So Andre won't do as a replacement?" Tori shakes her had sadly, shutting her locker, and pressing her head into it. "I can drop you off at home."

"It's okay, Andre is going to drop me off before he picks up his grandma" the bells ring "But thanks anyway Beck." she says squeezing me in a quick hug and she's gone. She's a sweet girl. Nice. Just nice. A bit unaware. But nice. Rash. But well intentioned. I shake my head, and stop watching her walk to class and head to my own class.

I'm late for directing for the screen. It's my best class Jade and Robbie are in the class. The only open seat is right between them. Jade and I used to sit down together during all our classes- and now we never do.

I take the open seat. Mr. Newport shakes his head at me, and continues the lesson.

Jade smirks. "Mr. Perfect's late" she mumbles before sipping her coffee. This is the first time Jade has said something to me she hasn't had to in a week.

"Since when did I say I was Mr. Perfect?" I retort in whisper, leaning slightly towards her. I feel weight on my side, and then Robbie is leaning over me.

"You kinda are" he hisses. Jade rolls her eyes, still smirking.

This class had been, a bit unbearable for a while. I wasn't really friends with anyone else in the class besides Robbie and Jade, and Jade was the reason I took the class this semester. Directing was interesting to me, but I didn't want to direct. Jade did. She was the one who convinced me to take it.

"It's only a semester long" she complained.

"But why would I take 'directing for the screen'? I don't even want to direct!" I explained. Jade was sitting cross legged on my bed while I make coffee. We had a late night of studying ahead of us.

"Because if you don't take it Robbie will be the only other person in the class" she argued.

"You know," I began "there are seventeen other people in the class." She stared at me. "Seventeen people also interested in directing." She continued to glare. "That you could maybe become friends with." She stared.

"No" she stated, shaking her head before she returned to planning her scheduele. I poured the coffee into to two mugs. I brought one to Jade. She shook her head.

"Jade" I pressed, holding the coffee out.

"I don't want any" she snapped. I sighed.

"You want it."

"No I don't. Just like you don't want to take directing for the screen." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, then I'll just put it right here" I said, placing the mug next to her. She stole a glance at it from the corner of her eye. I sat down on the bed, and attempted to organize my own schedule. After a few minutes I heard sipping. Jade was drinking her coffee.

"How about I make you a deal" she finally said, looking up from her schedule. I looked up from mine, and met her eyes. "If you take this class I will cast you in every film I make."

"Every film?" I asked with a smile. She nods seriously. "So I'll never get to be in a romantic comedy...or a family film... or have any attractive costars-"

"Male or female" she teased.

"Male too?" I questioned. It was a new addition. Jade leaned toward me and kissed me. She pulled away, her eyes inches from mine. "I'll consider it."

Her eyes widened with frustration. I laughed, and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Just kidding- I'll take it" I told her before we returned to kissing.

Now there is no more kissing. There is no more us. But for the rest of the week, we aren't friends, but we're better.


End file.
